Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Home Remedy: Getting Little Kids Dressed

Ever found yourself in the circus of dressing your children before you leave?

This used to be my version:

Run upstairs to get a shirt and pants and chase down the 1 year old. Find the underpants of the 3 year old and engage in mental battle to get him to wear this pair with the dinosaurs on them. Realize the 1 year old's shoes are also upstairs and go back to get them. Chase her down again and get her in your lap and look around for socks. They're in her sock drawer. Cry a little. Go get the socks and continue the circus repeating similar steps for the 3 year old. Leave the house what seems like (or actually is) 2 hours later.

Here's the remedy:

Gather everything you need in one spot before you attempt contact with the children.

Genius huh?

Now they play while I run around grabbing clothes, socks, shoes, diapers, underwear, hats, jackets, and anything else they will be wearing and throw them in a pile. Then I catch a little one and have them in my lap only once! No more chasing over and over. No more getting angrier with each article I have to go find.

One day I hope to have children who dress themselves. But right now my sensory kid (more on that later) and tiny dancer need my assistance. And I've been leaving an average of 10 minutes earlier with this new method. That's worth something!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Curse of Good Parking

I took the kids to Wal-mart the other day and we happened to score a killer parking space. It was crowded so this pack mule was pretty pumped.

When we got done shopping and back to the car I unlocked all the doors. No key-less entry here, we're all about character building (wink!). I told Silas to climb in his seat. He did while I unbuckled my rabid chimp from the front of the cart and and took a deep breath to brace myself for the struggle about to ensue. As I carried her to her seat I started in with Tactic 1: Distraction. Mash, did you see Kahlua (my mom's horse) at Guh Guh's house? What does Kahlua say? (I make loud horse noises and make my body shiver like a horse). She giggled but then started to realize that I was strapping her in and started shrieking. I quickly moved to Tactic 2: Brute Force because her tiny body was escaping and undoing all of my progress. I laid my body across her to hold down her arms while I buckle her in (still shrieking). She had tears streaming down her cheeks and I felt guilty because we'd been running errands all day and I knew she was craving play.

So I start playing peek-a-boo through the window. Now she's laughing. So hard that I keep doing it and start laughing pretty hard myself. Then Silas begs me to do him so I look at him and do more peek-a-boo's followed by Mommy's gonna get you! in my annoying talking to children voice.

I notice that my hair looks like a crazy lady in the reflection so I stare at myself and fix my ponytail.

I unload the groceries.

I place the cart precariously between the four corners of the cars around me and watch for it to roll. It stays. Good work Angie.

I play a few more BOO!'s for good measure.

I tell Mash how funny she is through the window.

I stand up, exhale loudly, mumble Man I'm beat, and smile when I remember it's about to be nap time.

I hike up my pants past my muffin top to conceal the previously revealed plumbers crack.

I pick my wedgie.

I shut the trunk

That's when I finally notice a man in a truck with his windows down who's been watching our little side show for the last 10 minutes while waiting on my parking spot with a line of 18 angry cars behind him.

People. Never try to wait for a parking spot that belongs to a mom with kids. I didn't even feel guilty. Like a huge dork, yes, but not guilty. That was just bad decision making.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Traffic Lessons

When Silas was younger I told him that he had to be careful around cars because they would hit him and he would be smashed like a pancake.

Over time the warning evolved. This is what people hear if they're walking near us in a parking lot.

Mommy I don't want to get smashed like a pancake. Cause you will pour syrup on me and eat me. And then I will be poop and I will go in the toilet. But it's ok Daddy said if I'm poop he will turn to poop and come with me down the toilet. Will you turn to poop too Mommy?

Somewhere along the way the point got lost.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Christmas O'10

There was indoor four-wheeling

and quality family crafting time. 
See the shockingly cute baby on the left? That's cousin Macin.
Snuggling with her will raise your blood sugar.
Mash scored a big pillow in the cousin gift exchange. Cousins were jealous.

On Christmas morning they ate candy. 
When I handed Mash her first gift I thought I heard her say Mom, you had me at candy. 
She wouldn't let anyone near her for about 20 minutes as she guarded her stash.

Silas walked like a cowboy with his Sheriff Woody gear.

I like this picture of Silas and his Aunt Kristin. I call it "Locked Gazes."

The finale was in Houston where we held playground Olympics. 

And my children were loved on even more.

The biggest blessing for us this Christmas was seeing the kids form special bonds with their great-grandmothers. Talk about incredible women. What a blessing to be able to spend unhurried time listening to their stories and be on the receiving end of their love.   

Monday, January 3, 2011

Confession Time

Sometimes my house looks like this.

If someone came to rob our house they would say Look Hank, the place has been ransacked. Someone beat us to it. (It's part of our security measures.)

Now I know there are many women who are able to stay on the very top step of the cleanliness stairmaster. They never falter and have to fight their way back up.

I'm not one of them.

So here's to all of us stairmaster climbers who some days fall completely off the machine, other days climb to the top and live in (brief) bliss, but always get back on and keep trying.


Sunday, January 2, 2011


I hate finding new blogger templates. After wasting a few precious "kids are in bed" hours with only a floral banner on top of a bird template to show for it, Brian did this for me. Thanks B!