Friday, July 23, 2010

Quality Family Time

Meet the Miller Traveling Band. All we require is a complete Rock Band setup (to accentuate our raw talent) and that nudity be allowed.   

I don't know why he's naked. I never do.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Parent's Retreat

This weekend we packed up grease lightening, dropped the kids off with mi madre and headed to San Antonio, TX for a little lover's getaway. You see, we haven't been lovers lately. We've sorta been fighters. So we needed a getaway.

We stayed in a hotel by the Riverwalk. Saturday we slept in. As in, didn't get woken up by a whiny 3-year old at 6:45. Yes Silas if you read this one day, you were very whiny in the mornings. Let's say that again because it feels so good. We slept in. Ahhh. 

After    sleeping in    we headed to Schlitterbahn. It's a water park and it was Saturday. And it was a "promotional" Saturday. So there were only about 3.2 million people there. That equaled waiting in line for 2 hours to go down a slide. And even though we only went on a total of 3 slides and around a few rivers, the day wasn't lost. While we were in the first line I decided we should play 21 questions to pass the time. Of course we had to come up with a wager for whoever had the most wins at the end of the day. I wanted a world-famous Brian foot rub if I won. I rarely get them. And I wanted a really long one that would make him sweaty and his forearms sore the next day. Then Brian informed me he wanted a new chip for his truck that would make it get better gas mileage. It only costs $200. Oh that's all? Sure. I agreed because I knew I would win. I have ESP with Brian and I'm about 100x more competitive than him. So the game commenced. 

The tournament was heated. Every time a round ended, the victor would scream and cheer and I would look up and see crowds of people smiling at us and realize that we were entertaining everyone in line. We should have charged Schlitterbahn for our services. And Brian was sweating bullets the whole day because of this game. Who knew he wanted that dang chip so bad? At one point he lovingly grabbed me by the neck when he knew he was about to lose yet another round and said, but I need that chip! I said well then you better start coming up with harder subjects and stop insulting my intelligence with things like a monkey! He eventually upped his game and made a comeback. Some of the more memorable games involved tree bark, the Liberty Bell memorial, Mary Poppins, creme brulee, Dwight Schrute, and nipple hair. Brian was fuming when I used my powers to guess his eel in a record 8 questions.  

Throughout the day I would find myself thinking as we stood in eternal lines, Oh yeah, we're at Schlitterbahn! The game was only interrupted by the total of 45 seconds we spent going down slides.

That night the game was put on the back burner while we spent a wonderful dinner by the water on the Riverwalk. It was a really nice night. Followed by another morning of sleeeeeping innnnnn.  

The game ended Sunday morning as we stood in line for world famous tacos at the Taco Taco Cafe. After a few rounds we were still tied. But then he guessed my place: Chipotle (It's easy I know. I had a moment of weakness because of intense hunger pains). If he could stump me he would win the whole tournament. I wasn't scared. I had him. I started guessing. Narrowed it down to a place in Las Vegas. Had 7 guesses left. Cake walk. I started guessing. Bellagio. MGM. New York, New York. Circus Circus. Mandalay Bay. Is it one of the big hotels? Yes, and you have one guess left. Oh dang. No problem, I will just use my powers. I closed my eyes and cleared my mind. The pyramid with the beam of light came into focus. That's it! The Mirage! I yelled it as everyone watched nervously. Nope! It's the Luxor! I win! I win! I get the chip! 

It was a low blow to my gut when I realized I had the right hotel but said the wrong name. So disappointing. What a way to end the game. But it was fun to see Brian so happy to finally beat me at something. It's only taken him about 13 years but he finally did it.

All in all it was a great weekend. We had important deep discussions during the drive, spent quality time with God, and had alot of fun. We are refreshed. 

But most importantly, Brian can now be united with his beloved chip.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Brian's First Act as a Father


One time I was giving birth to a big baby. Doctors and nurses were going crazy "making incisions" (aka necessary mutilation) to allow for the girth of his head. Then a nurse remembered that I wanted to watch the birth in a mirror so she started wheeling it toward the bed. Then my quiet gentle husband who hadn't uttered a word all day stood up and said in a deep stern voice, She's not using the mirror. Oh, umm, Brian, yes I am. Remember, it's part of our birth plan? No, put the mirror back, she's not using it. And he pointed for the nurse to put it back where she got it from. Then he calmly walked back to his station beside me.

Knowing Brian like I do, it must have been a pretty bad scene.

But we all made it through. And thanks to Brian I have no scarring mental images in my head except being handed a cottage cheesy baby that I secretly didn't want to touch.

Let's talk about that before we go. On the video you can see me pretending to pat him without actually touching him. More like an air pat. I cried and was overwhelmed with love for him but really didn't want to touch him. Before Mash was born I did some self talk: Angie, she'll be gross just like Silas but you are prepared this time and you'll hold her with wild abandon. Nope. She got the air pat too. Something about hugging a ball of goo.

I'll pay for their therapy when they grow up.

Brian wants me to add: 
The monetary promises made on this blog are not binding agreements 
and are for entertainment purposes only.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Home Remedy: Kids Eating Vegetables

A practical tip for getting veggies in your children (and yourself).

Step 1:
Buy a bag or box of baby spinach from the produce section.

Step 2: 
Dump the contents into a food processor and pulse until chopped into little pieces. Store in an air-tight bowl in the fridge.

Step 3:
Spoon this tasteless but nutrient rich substance into almost any dinner.

I add it to mac & cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, spaghetti, casseroles, enchiladas, and anything else I can think of. The possibilities are endless because you can't taste the stuff. And if you do Step 2, your bowl of chopped spinach is ready whenever you need it. One bag lasts us about a week. I keep using it until it starts to have a smell. If it doesn't smell, it's still good. Enjoy!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Money Management

Today was a Chuck E. Cheese day. 

I used to have reservations about taking my children here for no good reason. This place is supposed to be a 5 times in your entire childhood type of event. Like it was for me. You are supposed to go to bed dreaming of the animatronics and then go win tickets like they're hundred dollar bills no matter who you leave dead and bloodied along the way. That's the Chuck E. Cheese experience. 

Not some run of the mill weekday time-kill.

But we regularly come down with cabin fever. And it's h.o.t. outside. And I have a supply of unlimited free tokens thanks to a internet source that shall remain unnamed. Just kidding, it's 

But now to the point of this story. Silas has a new obsession with carrying money in his pocket. Sometimes I give him a few pennies in the morning and he stays busy with them all day, taking them out, putting them back in, showing me his "moneys", reminding me he has "moneys," etc.

So I gave him 5 Chuck E. Cheese coins to put in his pocket before we left. And because of past experiences, I had a little talk with him about spending an absurd amount of coins on the same game, usually the first one he sees when he walks in. I encouraged him to take his time, remember he only had 5 coins in his pocket, think which game is his favorite, and choose wisely. He nodded and repeated the notion back to me in his words while he fingered the coins in his pocket. We also repeated this conversation in the car. I watched him nodding and smiling at me in the rear-view mirror. Dang Angie, you're good at this mom stuff.

When we arrived I was distracted by Mash saying Oooooohhhhh, danku! and clapping repeatedly from excitement, but I did notice Silas had found the duck game. The one where ducks slowly move on a conveyor belt and you try to punch them with a glove as they go by.  But he wasn't actually playing the game. He was resting his chin in his hands watching the ducks go by. And from across the room I watched as he proceeded to put in all 5 coins without batting an eye. To watch the ducks go by

Oh the world of a 3-year old. So interesting and strange. I love it.