Thursday, September 16, 2010

Realized Daydreams

When I was pregnant with Silas I had two months between finishing grad school and giving birth where I just laid around waiting. It was during these months that I watched food network 8 hours a day and learned to cook. I also gained nearly 50 pounds in that time which I think may be some sort of record.

On warm days I would take a break from Paula, Ina and Giada to sit in the sun and listen to music outside. One song I was particularly fond of was Rascal Flatts "My Wish." I would think about my future son and tear up as I sang the lyrics. "Oh you'd find God's grace in every mistake and always give more than you take..."

I rested and relished the last days of childlessness but also eagerly awaited meeting the little guy growing inside me.

Fast forward to yesterday. Me and the monkeys were upstairs playing in Silas' room. I ran across a mixed CD I made for Silas before he was born to play in his nursery. So I popped it in and we listened to a few songs while we played. Then the Rascal Flatts song came on. I said Oh Silas! I used to sing this to you while you were in my belly! And I was filled with love and a sense of wonder that the baby I used to sing to was already 3 years old. We danced to the music, me dipping him, him giggling, me kissing his sweet cheeks.

I did have to pause the song once to administer a spanking after Mash tried to cut in and Silas pushed her down. He's always keeping it real. But I pushed play after the crying stopped and we danced some more.

Funny, the spankings never happened in my daydreams back then.

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