Since the diagnosis I find myself watching as she talks to others. And I listen when she talks to me. I see a woman on a mission to give her worries to the one who made her and loves her. I notice that she's missing signs of resentment, bitterness, or pity. With calmness and peace she lets others care for her. She continues to love without fear. She doesn't have time to judge whether or not you want a hug so tight it will take your breath away, you better believe you're getting one. Even in the face of cancer she powerfully blesses the people around her.
Then there's my mom. Holy cow what I learn from her. I watch her take her mom dinner most week nights. She tenderly walks arm in arm with her while they shop. Her concern for her doesn't fade as the newness of chemo wears off and everyone else is back to their normal lives. She's a genuine lover. Incapable of pretense. I think she shows a glimpse of God's love that us humans don't experience often. That unique love that would never wonder what's the right thing to say or how can I make them feel better. An unwillingness to waste energy on anxiety or self-preservation when there's someone who needs caring for.
It was a profound moment when, surrounded by family in the peacefulness of camping on a crisp fall day, my mom shaved her head alongside her mom. One woman facing a threat to her life with courage and trust, another willing to sacrifice so her mom isn't alone.
What a legacy I follow.
What a privilege to learn how to love and live with depth and freedom from these women.