Friday, May 13, 2011

Home Remedy: Learning to Live with Scorpions

For those of us blessed by the unavoidable company of scorpions, I've compiled a list. Not a list of extermination techniques (which I've lost all faith in) but a list for those more advanced in the grief process. Those of us who have made it to the stage of acceptance.
These are my methods to make their company more bearable during what I call the "high season."
The season when the spawns of satan storm your home and war is declared.

1. Always shake out your bath towel before you dry off. 
2. Always check the sheets in your bed and under your pillows before you get in. 
3. Never leave clothes on the floor. If you do, assume there is one in there when you pick them up.
4. Wear gardening gloves while sorting laundry.
5. Don't sleep under air conditioning vents.
6. Keep a pair of flip flops by the bed in case you have to walk at night (through the minefields).
6. The most important tip is this: When several run-ins leave you feeling frazzled and doomed, remember the times you've been stung. You survived. It was painful but not life-threatening.
The following self talk helps: "I am bigger than the scorpions. I am strong.
I will not live my life in fear. Low season will come again."

Taking steps to avoid interaction with the evil creatures as well as mentally putting them in their place is the way to peaceful co-existence. 

My heart goes out to those with severe infestations (those who put their beds on cinder blocks and surround the cinder blocks with sticky traps so they can sleep safely). 
Maybe you could accidentally leave your fry daddy on when you go out of town for the weekend.

And a disclaimer: The previous advice is given for those living with non-poisonous scorpions. Also, it is very dangerous for an infant to be bitten by any type of scorpion. 
Consider sending them to Grandma's until they're two. 


  1. oh Texas living! we had scorpions and tarantulas bad in laredo where i grew up...yuck!

    I'll love your self-talk part. happy co-existing!

  2. Wow! Although we dealt with snow just last week, I'm thinking the cold isn't as hard to deal with as scorpions! That sounds pretty scarey! I think I'll stay up North.

  3. We've several this year already, but not that big! Wow! I seriously might have nightmares. I hate those things with a passion. Apparently I am not to the acceptance phase yet. :)

    Side note: I miss you guys and can't wait to see you all this summer sometime. I'm still hopeful for a Lake Murray camping trip!