Tuesday, March 15, 2011

My 29th Birthday

Brian is upstairs giving Mash a bath as I type this.

14 hours earlier:

I woke up this morning, poured myself a bowl of cereal and sprinkled on some fiber (things don't move like they did in the early twenties). I was showered with love by a few birthday calls. With a smile in my heart I got the kids and myself ready to go into town.

I picked up my boo from work and we all ate a delicious lunch at Chick-fil-A. They gave me these cards. Silas sweetly showed me the special care he put into all the different colors he used just for me. And one of my favorite things is when Brian draws me pictures on special occasions. The ones from our childless years are pretty impressive. As you can see, he's had to scale down a bit. It looks like even started to misspell my name, poor guy.

After lunch I took the kids shopping and then we came home for naps. Well, Madison at least.

Later we ate dinner around the table and Brian prayed thanksgiving for me being born and being the mother of our family. Then I watched Biggest Loser while Brian spent at least 2 hours making me a home-made chocolate cake with home-made chocolate frosting. The 2 hours were courtesy of the monkeys he had sitting on the counter helping him. (And just to be clear, I never refer my children as monkeys as if it's a sweet nickname. I mean literal monkeys - stinky and squatting, making screeching noises, sticking their fingers in things, bouncing, and swatting each other.)

They lit candles, sang happy birthday, and we ate the best cake that's ever touched my lips. When everyone was quietly eating Silas looked me in the eye and said Mommy I love you so much. And happy birthday too!* These unsolicited affectionate moments from my kids happen from time to time and they stop me dead in my tracks. We hugged and ate some more.

After the cakefest I started doing lunges and squats, my new regimen after eating sugar or carbs (because of recently discovered blood sugar issues) and as usual the kids joined me, giving us huge belly laughs. We haven't caught it on film yet but when we do I'll share the hilarity.

(Important note: the lunges got the little girl's bowels moving).

Then we all snuggled on the couch while I opened my email and facebook to see so many well wishes for my birthday. I felt full to the brim with love.

Madison and Silas played by our legs in between the couch and ottoman. It was at this point that Madison looked at us and quietly said "poo poo." She was naked. Brian asked me if I thought she was bluffing. We were so comfortable and full of cake and milk. I replied, well it could be real because she isn't around anything related to poop. But we lazily looked back to the computer and kept reading.

A few minutes later Madison squeezed in between Brian and I and held up what she had in her hand. For a split second I thought it was a chunk of chocolate cake. Brian thought it was a mini Baby Ruth. Then realization washed over both of us and we understood that she was handing us a perfectly formed little baby turd. Out of shock we screamed which made her jump and the turd rolled out of her hand and onto the couch where it rested against my leg. Brian kept his wits about him while I yelled 'She wasn't bluffing!" We frantically gave the children a once over but they still had chocolate on their faces and a few body parts and we couldn't tell the difference between that and the feces. Then I saw the pile on the (thankfully hardcover) book Silas was standing on. No question as to what that was. It was squeezing out from in between his toes.

He followed my gaze down to his foot and saw the horror for himself. He started screaming and jumping. I was torn because the turd was still on the couch (only 5 seconds has elapsed at this point) being wriggled with every panicked move we made. I grabbed the tissue paper from my gift bag and grabbed the poop like they do at the donut store and wrapped it up for later. No time for a trip to the trash can. Then I swooped up my boy and carried him like a baby to wash his foot. And the chocolate cake while I was at it.

Later I laughed while I scrubbed the carpet, book, and couch with disinfectants.

And now I'm back at the computer writing this while Brian finishes washing the turd wrangler.

Despite the poop attack, today has been a better than usual birthday.
Ordinary but filled with love.

* Just to keep it real and prevent any idealization of my life from my future self or anyone else, Silas shocked me (and earned himself a spanking) this morning when I told him it was my birthday and he pointed his finger in my face and yelled repeatedly NO ITS MY BIRTHDAY! IT'S MINE!
He had himself a little Smeagol moment.

1 comment:

  1. I wonder what she will make you for your 30th!?!