Brian's First Act as a Father

 

One time I was giving birth to a big baby. Doctors and nurses were going crazy "making incisions" (aka necessary mutilation) to allow for the girth of his head. Then a nurse remembered that I wanted to watch the birth in a mirror so she started wheeling it toward the bed. Then my quiet gentle husband who hadn't uttered a word all day stood up and said in a deep stern voice, She's not using the mirror. Oh, umm, Brian, yes I am. Remember, it's part of our birth plan? No, put the mirror back, she's not using it. And he pointed for the nurse to put it back where she got it from. Then he calmly walked back to his station beside me.

Knowing Brian like I do, it must have been a pretty bad scene.

But we all made it through. And thanks to Brian I have no scarring mental images in my head except being handed a cottage cheesy baby that I secretly didn't want to touch.

Let's talk about that before we go. On the video you can see me pretending to pat him without actually touching him. More like an air pat. I cried and was overwhelmed with love for him but really didn't want to touch him. Before Mash was born I did some self talk: Angie, she'll be gross just like Silas but you are prepared this time and you'll hold her with wild abandon. Nope. She got the air pat too. Something about hugging a ball of goo.

I'll pay for their therapy when they grow up.

Brian wants me to add: 

The monetary promises made on this blog are not binding agreements 
and are for entertainment purposes only.

Home Remedy: Kids Eating Vegetables

A practical tip for getting veggies in your children (and yourself).

Step 1:
Buy a bag or box of baby spinach from the produce section.

Step 2: 
Dump the contents into a food processor and pulse until chopped into little pieces. Store in an air-tight bowl in the fridge.

Step 3:
Spoon this tasteless but nutrient rich substance into almost any dinner.

I add it to mac & cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, spaghetti, casseroles, enchiladas, and anything else I can think of. The possibilities are endless because you can't taste the stuff. And if you do Step 2, your bowl of chopped spinach is ready whenever you need it. One bag lasts us about a week. I keep using it until it starts to have a smell. If it doesn't smell, it's still good. Enjoy!

Money Management

Today was a Chuck E. Cheese day. 

I used to have reservations about taking my children here for no good reason. This place is supposed to be a 5 times in your entire childhood type of event. Like it was for me. You are supposed to go to bed dreaming of the animatronics and then go win tickets like they're hundred dollar bills no matter who you leave dead and bloodied along the way. That's the Chuck E. Cheese experience. 

Not some run of the mill weekday time-kill.

But we regularly come down with cabin fever. And it's h.o.t. outside. And I have a supply of unlimited free tokens thanks to a internet source that shall remain unnamed. Just kidding, it's http://printable-coupons.blogspot.com/ 

But now to the point of this story. Silas has a new obsession with carrying money in his pocket. Sometimes I give him a few pennies in the morning and he stays busy with them all day, taking them out, putting them back in, showing me his "moneys", reminding me he has "moneys," etc.

So I gave him 5 Chuck E. Cheese coins to put in his pocket before we left. And because of past experiences, I had a little talk with him about spending an absurd amount of coins on the same game, usually the first one he sees when he walks in. I encouraged him to take his time, remember he only had 5 coins in his pocket, think which game is his favorite, and choose wisely. He nodded and repeated the notion back to me in his words while he fingered the coins in his pocket. We also repeated this conversation in the car. I watched him nodding and smiling at me in the rear-view mirror. Dang Angie, you're good at this mom stuff.

When we arrived I was distracted by Mash saying Oooooohhhhh, danku! and clapping repeatedly from excitement, but I did notice Silas had found the duck game. The one where ducks slowly move on a conveyor belt and you try to punch them with a glove as they go by.  But he wasn't actually playing the game. He was resting his chin in his hands watching the ducks go by. And from across the room I watched as he proceeded to put in all 5 coins without batting an eye. To watch the ducks go by. 

Oh the world of a 3-year old. So interesting and strange. I love it.  

Evening News

Notice anything about this picture?

(besides the fact that he likes to drink like a hamster)

 

He's wearing underpants!

Really. He is. All the time now.

Part of me believed this day might never come. 

I pictured him asking his middle school teachers 
if he could go to the bathroom to change his diaper. 

I'm a little surprised at how happy it makes me feel. 
I never thought I would tear up with thanksgiving after peeling my bare feet from his bodily fluids dried on the floor by the toilet.
I never thought I would clap in the Wal-mart check-out line when he yelled Mommy, I need ta pee!

Silas is happy too.

He's filled with pride and encouragement. 

He also regularly moons me and asks Mommy, see my shuga buns?

And let's not forget Mash.

This is what every picture of her looks nowadays. 

Because she's walking! 

Homegirl is on the move. She sure is a spunky little lady.

That's all for now. Thanks for watching and goodnight.

Conversations with a 3 Year Old

Today I pulled into our driveway and Silas said Mommy whas a miwacle? I told a story about Jesus healing a sick person and tried my best to put it into his language. My excitement grew as I explained how awesome miracles are and he caught my enthusiasm and started clapping at the end of the story.

I asked What do you think about that Silas? He thought for a few seconds and said     
Mommy I'm peein in my undapants.

Work Life

Some people say liking who you work with can make all the difference.
I LOVE doing laundry with her.  

 

She can come mess up my piles any day.

Father's Day Month

I would like to share some Brian stories in the coming weeks. He's my babies' daddy. And he's a good one. He's patient and he's a giver. He gets up if they have a bad dream. He plays with them like nobody's business.

The other day we were at Wal-mart and the kids were hungry. He went and got them goldfish crackers and a bottle of water. He made sure Mash got some of the loot, holding the water bottle for her to get a drink. Then she unleashed one of her greatest talents, backwashing. Brian watched as a whole goldfish floated its way back into the water. Funny, but no big deal, he will just fish it out with his finger right? Well, he couldn't get it out and there was so much water still to be drank. (drunk?, drinked?)

So he closed his eyes and took a big swig. The slobbery soggy goldfish came out and instantly disintegrated in his mouth. As he stood there gagging I slapped him on the bum for taking one for the team.

But even if he would have just dumped the goldfish and a little water into a trash can like a normal person I would still think he's stinkin' awesome.