Employee of the Month

Two weeks ago Brian came home and happily shared how is boss gave him an achievement award. This meant he got to pick out a gift card to the place of his choice for all the hard work and overtime he's been doing.

I was happy for him. Glad to know he was getting good feedback at work, knowing it meant alot to him.

Then Thursday night rolled around. He came home late from lifegroup and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hands.

He handed me a big box.
It was a leaf blower!

To put my excitement into context, I've been wanting and talking about a leaf blower for about two years. Fantasizing about effortlessly cleaning out all of the 5 years worth of leaves from our yard, flower beds, and driveway. Don't get me wrong, I've done my time using brooms and rakes. But I've never been able to stay on top of the massive job since we have so many trees and babies.

Me, lookin like a natural.

But what meant more to me than finally having the power of wind in my hands was when Brian told me, "I used my gift card to get you this. I'm giving you the achievement award because you've been working alot harder than I have taking care of the kids. You deserve it."

Let me just tell you. As a mother who was tapped out all of her reserves of effort, patience, physical energy, and everything else in my being, this was monumental. It meant someone had seen the struggle. It meant encouragement. It meant my husband giving significance to my daily purpose that, although given alot of lip service, oftentimes feels second-rate.

But let's not forget it also meant I GOT A LEAF BLOWER!

I tried it out between bouts of stomach flu this weekend. Me and LB are gonna be good friends.

Hair Cycle

I used to have really long hair. It was curly and flowing and Brian loved it. The few attempts I've made to grow it back out have met with a scrunched nose and a tilt of the head, followed by "It's just not the same." So I've said goodbye to that pipe dream and now I vacillate between a little past the shoulder and just under the chin.

Now to the interesting part.

Yesterday I was looking in the bathroom mirror at my hair while Brian was shaving. I started up the semi-annual discussion: Do you like my hair better long or short? The reigning world champion at not rocking the boat gave me his standard answer, I like both. So I used the ole tried and true, if a gun was put to your head and you had to pick, which would you like?

I watched as he looked up and to the right, deep in thought. 

Then he started shaving again and said, I think I just like it fixed.

Message received loud and clear. 

I'll try to resist the ponytail more often. Maybe. 

The glory days.

I tried to find a current picture but since I haven't been photographed since 1998

this is the closest representation I could find of my present state. 

(compliments of Google image search)

Tiene Tres Años

My son turns 3 today (or "free" if you ask him). 

And I want to celebrate. 

Oh there are the more obvious reasons to celebrate.

 He poses like this when I ask him to.

He says, "Mommy, dance wiff me."     

He loves to see the humor in life.  

He is intelligent, musical, polite (mostly). 
 

But then there are the harder to recognize reasons.

 He has been the pioneer to find the heart of a mother in me. I had severe postpartum depression after he was born and he stuck with me.

We are kindred spirits. Stubborn, strong willed, determined, emotional, deeply affected by the world around us. I understand his need for independence. I feel it too. This empathy has carried me through many a difficult day. 

God has used my mysterious and challenging son to pry my death grip off the illusion that I'm in control of everything. That I can figure everything out. That I never need help. 

To say he has changed my life in his 3 years is an understatement.

I think he's changed my DNA. 

I am thankful I get to be his mother. I'm excited to see him grow in the years to come.

I celebrate the richness this little boy brings to our lives.  

 

Cheese!

She's been practicing in the mirror. Perfecting it. Getting the mouth just right. The eyebrows just the right angle. She thinks she's nailed it. And she's ready for me to reveal it to the world.

So without further ado, I present to you: 

HER

 

NEW
 

   SMILE!  

Seriously.

She's not angry.

She's not tired or hungry. 

You're looking at one happy baby.

I think she was inspired by him.

Or maybe him.

A Bite and a Splash

On the (sometimes rare) occasion that we bathe our children these days, it's been quite entertaining.
One reason is that Mash loves to splash. And I mean LOVES to splash. She doesn't care if she has to hold her breath and get a gallon of water in her eyes and ears, she splashes her heart out.

It generally goes like this:
Bite a toy, splash like crazy.
Bite a toy, splash like crazy.
Continue until removed from the water. 



On a side note, I highly recommend the Munchkin Inflatable Duck Tub. For this age where she can sit up but not be trusted with the whole tub it makes bath time alot of fun. Not to mention it protects her from the older sibling so they can bathe together. I think you can get it at Wal-Mart or Target for around $15. We keep ours inflated and hang it on the hook on our shower caddy that hangs on the shower head.

Sunny Days

The sunshine has lifted our spirits. 

Yesterday we made a spontaneous trip to the park 

after picking Silas up from school.

 

Madison didn't mind missing her nap at all.
She did mind how badly the wind messed up her hair.

I basked in the sun filled with peace and contentment
watching my children enjoy themselves.
Then Silas brought me back to reality. 
 He ran by me and stopped abruptly to tell me Mommy I gonna make a doo doo. Music to every mother's ears. Especially when there are no public restrooms. And you drive a small car. So Silas got his diaper changed on the sidewalk with everyone witnessing him in all his glory. I'm never quite sure about proper diaper etiquette in these situations.

But hey I'll take the sunshine, public pooping and all.
I've never been so thankful for spring to get here. 

My Helper

The past few days have been challenging for my son and me. He's been sensitive and stubborn. I've been testy and impatient. We're in one of those phases where things feel difficult and tiring.

Hold on a second. I need to get something off my chest. Soapbox please. Sometimes it seems like there's not much tolerance for mom's to feel anything but blissful fondness towards their children. Come on moms, be happy and enjoy it all the time!

The reality is that a mother's emotions towards her children wax and wane. I'm no exception. Sometimes we have a blast. Sometimes we're creative together. Sometimes we cuddle and the contentment in those moments is almost tangible. And then there are times when we get on each others nerves. There are moments when you've given a whole lot of yourself and get nothing but anger or ungratefulness in return. Those times don't feel good at all. And although I try pretty darn hard to not let how I'm feeling control how I act, I've certainly failed at this. I'm trying to teach Silas along the way that we're all imperfect and it's ok to ask for forgiveness, even if it's from your child.

But the point of this post was to take a moment during this difficult time to be thankful for one of the many good qualities God has put in this little boy. Here's one.

Silas loves to be useful. He's stinkin good at helping. If I sweep he loves to follow behind with his little broom. If I do the dishes he climbs up on his stool next to me and uses his scrub brush. And lately he's been helping with the laundry. And not just "helping" me. He actually loads and unloads the washer and dryer. What a blessing it is to watch him light up at the chance to help others.

In easy and hard times, I am ever thankful to be his mother. 

 

 

I'm going to remind myself of all this when he wakes me up at 5:36a.m. to inform me "Isss mawneen time Mommy!" 

It's ok Angie. He'll do the laundry later.