Look at that Mess

Evidence

2012-02-03T14:13:00.000-08:00

Let this serve as proof that on occasion I do let my children enjoy a snack ridden with

artificial coloring, preservatives, etc.

I just have a feeling one day I will hear about this so I want to set the record straight.

Movie Fail

2012-01-15T19:46:00.000-08:00

The other night I was burdened that Brian needed rest. He'd been working overtime and I suggested that we all watch a movie together instead of the normal routine of him playing with the kids for hours.

I scrolled through the recordings and found "Soul Surfer." Perfect! A safe family film with waves and surfing to keep the kids interested and it might actually be entertaining for Brian and I.

Look how heartwarming.

We all got good and invested. Madison laid on my lap and Silas snuggled with Daddy.
Angie, your ideas are awesome.

Then a great white shark came out of the water and bit the girls arm off.

The bloody stump gushed everywhere.

People were hysterical and screaming.

My eyes got huge and I looked at Brian. I didn't realize this was part of the plot line. I couldn't see Madison's face but Silas was just sitting there looking stoic. Maybe they didn't notice the shark after all. Whew.

Then after about a minute we heard Madison's squeaky little voice,
"Why dat whale bite dat guls ahm off!!??"

And the questions started coming like machine gun fire.

Silas: Mommy, is that girl gonna die?
Are there sharks in water?
Why do sharks want to eat us?
Is her arm still in the shark's belly?
What's going to happen to her arm in his belly?
Is the arm still in his belly?
Do sharks like the way we taste?
Is her arm still in his belly?
Does that shark have an arm in it's belly?
What's the arm doing in the shark's belly?

Madison: Why dat whale bite dat guls ahm off!!??
But why?
But why he want to eat huh?
But why?
Why dat whale bite dat guls ahm off?

Silas: I want to see that arm.
Is the arm in the shark's belly?
Does the shark like the taste of that arm?

You get the idea.

The movie wasn't much fun after that. We were lucky to get through 5 minutes of movie before the questions started up again.

I couldn't blame them though. That can't be easy to process.

Because You'll Forget

2011-12-06T15:48:00.000-08:00

You put notes like these on his lunchbox.

Thanksgiving Fiesta

2011-12-04T20:57:00.000-08:00

This year I had FUN at Thanksgiving dinner. The food was delicious. A lovely girl made my favorite dessert, chocolate sour cream cake, which I made myself sick with by eating an unhealthy amount.

My sister and I dominated a game of spades against a so-called expert. And let me say this about my relationship with my sister. We can butt heads sometimes because, well, we're sisters. As Dr. Cail would put it, we've been fighting for commodities since she was born. But our connection runs deep. You just can't replace the bond you have with two girls who grow up together. And if you catch us in a goofy mood together, watch out. I can have more fun with her than just about anyone I know.

Well the goofy moods hit and by the end of the night we were putting on cognito and entering the Texas Hold Em' tournament. We lost but put up a good fight, sneaking each other chips under the table when one of us got low.

The night was topped off by hilarious stories from my lovable and impressively bearded brother. I just think the world of that guy.

All in all it was a great time meeting new people, hanging out with precious family we don't get to see very often, and lots of PLAYING!

And look, Sarah Palin was nice enough to join us for our poker game.
Really. Click on the picture and zoom in. It's scary.

The Future As He Sees It

2011-11-17T12:32:00.000-08:00

Last weekend Silas and I snuggled in a camping chair outside my mom's house. I love how at home he is receiving affection. Totally relaxed, unhurried, not a care in the world. I told him about how one day he's going to be a man and talk like Daddy and have a wife and kids. And I asked him if he would still let me hold him and kiss his cheeks, although they would be all pokey. He assured me he would.

Then his eyes rimmed red and filled with tears. I asked him what was wrong and he wept and proclaimed, I really want YOU to be my wife when I get big!

I comforted him by explaining that one day he would meet the girl he would marry and that right now she is little just like him and Mommy prays for her mommy and daddy to love her and teach her to follow Jesus and how to be kind and loving. He looked off into the distance and the subject dropped.

Until church Sunday morning. During the service I could feel him looking at me so I looked down and saw his eyes red and wet, chin quivering. He declared again, I've been thinking about it and I really really just want YOU to be my wife and nobody else! I cringed at his volume and anger level and decided to not to choose this battle. I patted his leg and told him I'll be your wife, buddy, I will.

I chuckled and watched him look forward and blink heavily. He needed a few moments to let the intense emotions subside.

He's going to be quite the catch someday. And I'll cherish it while he feels the same way about me.

Postscript:
Silas came in and saw this picture up so I told him I wrote the story about him wanting me to be his wife. I asked if he still wanted me to be his wife and he said Yep. And Daddy can have that girl you were telling me about at Guggy's (my mom's) house. They can live in a house close to us.

Yeehaw

2011-11-08T12:54:00.000-08:00

She was so cute for cowgirl day, I can't even tell ya.

I sure like being her mama.

Halloween 2011

2011-11-01T14:10:00.000-07:00

We had a blast!

Silas could've kept up with a group of teenagers. He was a pro.

He was also quite heartbroken to wash his face when we got home.

Mash was too cute for words. Today when I laid her in bed for her nap she said "I gonna sweep, wake up, you paint cupcake my face, go say twick or tweet get maw M.M.'s. Ok?"

The whole posse.

Snapshot

2011-10-27T13:21:00.000-07:00

If my future self were to look back at the fall of 2011, this is what I would see:

First of all, me not having a desktop which means difficult access to pictures which means very infrequent blogging. This saddens me.

The four of us living with an awesome couple from our church (Bob n Chells as Madison refers to them). It's been great for us, actually a huge blessing, but sometimes I wonder what they're thinking when Silas throws his 18th fit during dinner or I have to text Chells to let her know Silas vomited and didn't make it into the throw-up bowl (see below). We're nearing our third month of waiting for our short sale to close. It will be at least another month. Me no likey short sales.

The four of us passing around sickness for the past two months. At the moment I am freshly over strep, Silas is miserable with a stomach bug, Madison's just done with her stomach bug and Brian is fighting a cold.

Our family driving around in our new minivan. It's pretty sweet. Silas thinks it's the coolest thing since sliced bread. We said goodbye to Grease Lightening and the Geo.

My extended family taking a great camping trip which involved canoeing, a train ride, bike riding, and being surrounded by beautiful nature.

Brian enduring the most stressful stretch of work his job has given him yet.

Me discovering Pinterest. Scary.

Me and Silas having special days every Monday. Mash goes to school and Silas doesn't. I only have one more year with him all to myself so I'm squeezing all the goodness out of it I can. We love our special days.

Madison talking up a storm. Especially about elephant butts. More on that later.

Silas wanting to know everything possible about nutrition. He can tell you the protein, carb, vitamin, and fiber content of most foods.

Madison and Silas wanting to ride bikes 24 hours a day.

Me being reminded about who and what I live my life for. I'm learning on a deeper level that it's not things. And it's not a house.

Rear View Mirror

2011-09-29T14:10:00.000-07:00

One Sunday morning we were late to church. Oh wait, that's been every single Sunday for the last four years.

But something special happened on this morning.

Brian was driving and juggling listening to me analyze why he made us late and the kids screaming various demands and grievances in the back seat. He would reach back trying to reach Madison's pacifier and tell Silas something to the tune of "If you touch her one more time, you know what will happen!" as the car swerved slightly with all of his movements. I critiqued the morning's timeline and picked at my face in the mirror before my "we're late" ritual of putting on my makeup in the car. I think he was flinching his jaw and imagining scenes from "Throw Mama from the Train" with me replacing the character of "Mama" but I would have to verify that with him.

Brian tried the old futile method of achieving silence, turning the radio up. Way up. It didn't work. I joined his efforts and tried distracting the kids. I heard sirens in the distance and said Listen, there's a fire truck! They didn't care. I resumed my analyses and picking. A long while later I looked over at Brian and saw colored lights reflecting on his face.

I gasped when I saw the police car in my make-up mirror. "Oh no, we're being pulled over!" Then my heart sunk because I've come to learn the following law of nature: being late + being distracted = Brian speeding excessively. Kids, turn on the charm when he gets to the window.

Much to our surprise when Brian rolled down his window we heard through a loud speaker SLOWLY STEP OUT OF THE CAR AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE VEHICLE!

My jaw dropped as I watched Brian slowly exit the car and assume the position. More commands followed from the speaker. STEP TO THE BACK OF THE VEHICLE! Then the officer got out of the car. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING SIR? Brian stared in confusion. He began screaming at Brian. The quiver and intensity in the officer's voice made it evident he was pretty shaken up. Then things became clear. I'VE BEEN CHASING YOU FOR MILES! WHY WOULDN'T YOU PULL OVER? I could hear Brian try to explain, My kids were screaming in the back seat and my rear view mirror was pointed down to - THERE IS NO REASON FOR ME TO HAVE TO FOLLOW YOU FOR THAT LONG WITH MY SIRENS AND LIGHTS ON! THERE'S NO EXCUSE!

I was thinking to myself, Actually, sir, there is a perfectly good reason and my husband just gave it to you. The radio was blaring and all mirrors were pointed at the children.

But thankfully my husband had more sense than me. He listened as the officer vented more feelings of flabbergast and then apologized repeatedly and agreed that there was no excuse.

Then I saw the officer head to my window. Keep in mind I wasn't feeling too sharp that morning. I was staring at his face, watching his eyes with hopes that he would look back, notice the kids in the back seat and have mercy. After waiting a while he raised his eyebrows as if to say "Hello?" and motioned for me to roll down my window. I jumped to it and saw him revel in the glory of my radiating picked-at, no make-up having face. He asked to see my driver's license (still trying to get to the bottom of why we were trying to run from him). I set the bowl of cereal I had in my lap on the floorboard then grimaced when I looked back and remembered Brian had packed the diaper bag. Fat chance he thought to grab my wallet.

I smiled sheepishly and started explaining. Well you see, my husband packed the diaper bag yadda yadda yadda. He didn't buy it. All I could think of was to offer to have him follow us back to our home and I would get it for him. From the back seat Silas fervently (and repeatedly) asked Why is the police man angry at Daddy?? Mommeeeeeeeeeeee, WHY??

After a few minutes of asking the same questions and getting the same answers the officer gave up. Maybe the kids worked their magic. Maybe it was Brian's humility. Most likely it was my stunning beauty but regardless, and much to our amazement, he let our little circus act off with a warning.

Laughter replaced the bickering and we were all smiles when we showed up before church ended.

Lesson learned:

You really should point your rear view mirror at the road, not on your darling little angels.

The Healing of Our Marriage

2011-09-14T15:31:00.000-07:00

About 3 years ago, Brian and I started really going to church. I don't like that phrase because we ARE the church so how can we go to ourselves. Maybe I should say we started being the church or being a part of the church, the body of Christ.

Whatever you call it, a big part of it is living our lives in the open. Letting others know what we were doing, thinking, and feeling and letting God use them to POWERFULLY remind us of who He is, who we are, and grow us up.

This has led to us dealing with stinking death in our marriage.

It's too difficult to squeeze into a nutshell but it has involved us getting to a place where we don't love each other very well and aim much of our efforts at our own interests and stay angry when our interests aren't served. When this goes on for a long time, you start to not like each other as much. Which has been heartbreaking because we've always really liked each other. Wrap this and much more up and put it in a pressure cooker of very young kids, remodeling our house, then selling our house and moving and you've got a glimpse into our discombobulated mess. I've come to find out our marriage is vulnerable to brokenness just like everyone else's.

This was on our favorite vacation ever, Miami.

I didn't know it at the time but Silas was a tiny dot growing in my belly.

Recently I decided I wanted to write about this journey we're embarking on. I want to remember all of it - the hard parts and the awesome parts. Because I serve the best and most faithful healer, and because Brian and I have our hearts set on honoring our covenant and each other, I have hope and anticipation for what's to come. Years from now, I don't want to forget what He's brought us through. And since there's no use hiding the light, I'm gonna put it out for all (3 of you) to see.

Let's begin with the first installment.

I've been called to

STOP CONTROLLING.

For the previous 13 years, I've been honing my skills of manipulation and control. My motto: I want Brian to do a certain thing/be a certain way and I'M GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN. That may involve hour long explanations on my needs and his shortcomings, staying angry, silent treatment, or just good ol' emotional distance.

Instead, I've been called to this: Lord, this is yours. I'm going to stop messing with your creation, get off the potter's chair and let you do your beautiful work in your time. I give it up. I set it down.

I trust you.

What does this look like in real life? Right now it's alot of shutting my mouth and praying. Sometimes this happens in mid-argument or even mid-opening statement. I can feel the gentle whisper from my Father, "let go." I'll suddenly get quiet and close my eyes. Brian is usually confused. And because I've hurt him with the silent treatment in the past, I'll tell him I'm not shutting down but I have to stop talking and pray now. And "praying" in these instances doesn't always look the same. It has involved screaming about how bad this hurts, asking for healing for both of us, asking for healing for Brian and not me because I didn't do anything wrong!, or feeling so overwhelmed that I just close my eyes and climb into my Father's arms and rest my head on his shoulder (like my children do to me when they're spent) and stay there for a while.

I don't have huge amounts of clarity or insight yet and that's ok. I've just begun to dip my toe into the waters of change. Things are actually still pretty messy, unclear, and unchanging most of the time. But it is already beautiful. The way my Father gently leads me. The way he has spoken to us through others. The little signs of new life starting to sprout in our marriage. Really cool sprouts we've never seen before.

It's looking like he's much better than me at being in charge.

Pic of the Day

2011-09-07T20:16:00.000-07:00

The Bad, the Ugly, and the Good

2011-08-16T22:03:00.000-07:00

Today was a hard day. Tonight was even worse. I'm out of town with the kids which means no daddy and I've been sick. Bad combo.

The kids were in the bath after we'd made it through dinner and clean-up time and I was sitting in a little chair reading a book while they played in the water. I peeked over the pages to find them scrubbing each others backs and I let down my guard a little. (I'd been in constant drill sergeant mode for a while). I smiled and thought I guess they are kinda sweet.

Six seconds later a soaking wet wash cloth flew from one of those sweet hands knocking my book out of my hands and onto the floor, instantly soaking the entire thing. They giggled as I jumped up yelling noooooo! and frantically tried to salvage what was now a saturated sponge.

Rage.

Fastest washings and dressings they have ever gotten.

I did stop once to apologize to Silas and told him I'm really tired and my job of being a mommy has been hard today. But mostly they just got fireball eyes if they tried to put up anything resembling resistance.

I laid the little one down in her pack n play and warned of the dreadful things that would happen if she decided to climb out (which she conveniently learned to do a few nights ago after Daddy left).

This is where the good started to creep in. I was on my way to make my 5th trip downstairs for yet another essential bedtime item when Silas called out to me, Mommy I got my blanket and I'm already in bed. I'll wait for you here until you're done with Madison.

Umm, who are you and what have you done with my son? I ran into his room and kissed his cheeks. I needed that Silas. Thank you.

I finished putting Mash to bed which involved apologizing for being grumpy and her saying I agive you in her tiny voice and hugging and kissing me.

Then I climbed into bed with Silas to read him a story. He looked over at me, our noses almost touching, and said When you were a little girl did GuhGuh (my mom) climb in bed and read to you?

Yes, she did.

Well, when I grow up I'm going to snuggle with my kids and read them a story too! Pause. His chin starts to quiver. But I try to think about what kids I will have and I can't see them and I don't know their names! But I want to know their names!

I stared at his little profile and was taken aback by his desire to know his future children.

Did you know your kids will be my grandkids and I will be their grandma?

He looked at me and smiled and said And Daddy will be their grandpa??

Yep.

His chin starts to quiver again. But...who will be their mommy? They will need a mommy.

I told him one day he will find a girl who loves Jesus and is kind and gentle. And she will be his kids' mommy and they will be a family.

He smiled and looked up at the ceiling imagining the future. (He later added that his kids will be Parker and Preston (his cousins) but that he really wants free (3) kids because he wants to have a baby like Madison too.)

So here I am, laying in bed typing so I won't forget this. I find myself asking if this is really happening. I know it's been true of every human in the history of mankind but are my little children really going to one day not be little children? It's strange that something so mundane, commonplace, and experienced by an incalculable amount of parents before me seems so impossible.

And finally, I'm praying that my Father would help me to choose grace tomorrow. To stay in the love as I parent. To let go of the ever available anger and irritation. Because I know your heart is for us to love each other. And wherever their future spouses are, will you give them parents that love them well. That teach them to love well. Thank you for leading me. Your love is better than life!

Moving is Stressful

2011-07-07T21:06:00.000-07:00

Snuggling with my kids is not.

It's a little treasure I've discovered.

This has been an ordeal filled with seeking God on where he wants us and WAITING and releasing the anxious sickness in my stomach on a minute by minute basis. But the sweet moments of calm have come after talking to brokers and realtors and storage facilities and a stressed husband on the phone all over blaring episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba and kids loudly taming their toy horse while taking breaks to fight and/or plead with me for food all while I try to do laundry, pack our belongings, scan documents, and get our damned printer to work (pardon my French).

In these moments I find myself panting and wanting to steal Mash's pacifier, curl up in a corner with it, wrap myself in a window curtain and rock back and forth.

And this is the point I often scapegoat my children as the source of my angst and unleash waves of irritability on them. But there's been grace on me. I look across the room and see little stress balls.

Come snuggle with me!

They never turn me down.
I let my eyes close and listen to Elmo's world while their soothing closeness lifts the heaviness.

Who knew they possessed such powers?

Little Launch Take Two

2011-06-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

Remember this?

Well this happened on Monday.

She sure loved it.
She didn't even cry when her owl backpack made her fall backwards.

In other news, time has begun speeding up at an exponential rate.

Happy Late Father's Day

2011-06-20T20:27:00.000-07:00

To my man. My partner. You stay in the thick of parenting with me. You give me breaks. You play with the kids. You flow with compassion and patience. Your presence is missed so much when you go on business trips that we have to make a countdown of days until you return.

We love you.

Pic of the Day

2011-06-08T15:09:00.000-07:00

Ann Geddes, mullet and pj's style.

Mash's Day

2011-05-29T20:55:00.000-07:00

Two years ago today I had one of the best days of my life.

Surrounded by my husband, mother, sister, and aunt, I birthed a little girl.

For the rest of the day she laid on my chest and we slept. There was no where else in the world I wanted to be. I can still remember her scent. The sweet noises she made as she learned to nurse.

That night in the quiet dark hospital room felt like a holy moment. It was just the two of us (nevermind the sleeping husband and hospital staff that came in every half-hour). I drifted in and out of sleep but every time I woke I felt overwhelmed with peaceful gladness as I fed and changed her, and wrapped her up to hold. I can still feel the stillness of the room as I told my Father thank you with tears streaming down.

Two years earlier her brother plowed the way through my selfish heart and formed a mother out of me. This time there was no shock or surprise. I had already given up my rights.
I was ready to simply love.

Since that day she has carried with her the gift of joy.

She blesses me more than I could ever deserve.

Home Remedy: Learning to Live with Scorpions

2011-05-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

For those of us blessed by the unavoidable company of scorpions, I've compiled a list. Not a list of extermination techniques (which I've lost all faith in) but a list for those more advanced in the grief process. Those of us who have made it to the stage of acceptance.
These are my methods to make their company more bearable during what I call the "high season."
The season when the spawns of satan storm your home and war is declared.

1. Always shake out your bath towel before you dry off.

2. Always check the sheets in your bed and under your pillows before you get in.

3. Never leave clothes on the floor. If you do, assume there is one in there when you pick them up.

4. Wear gardening gloves while sorting laundry.

5. Don't sleep under air conditioning vents.

6. Keep a pair of flip flops by the bed in case you have to walk at night (through the minefields).

6. The most important tip is this: When several run-ins leave you feeling frazzled and doomed, remember the times you've been stung. You survived. It was painful but not life-threatening.
The following self talk helps: "I am bigger than the scorpions. I am strong.
I will not live my life in fear. Low season will come again."

Taking steps to avoid interaction with the evil creatures as well as mentally putting them in their place is the way to peaceful co-existence.

My heart goes out to those with severe infestations (those who put their beds on cinder blocks and surround the cinder blocks with sticky traps so they can sleep safely).

Maybe you could accidentally leave your fry daddy on when you go out of town for the weekend.

And a disclaimer: The previous advice is given for those living with non-poisonous scorpions. Also, it is very dangerous for an infant to be bitten by any type of scorpion.
Consider sending them to Grandma's until they're two.

Mother's Day Gifts

2011-05-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

The thing I love most about my son is that he is so much like me. Passionate and sensitive. Always thinking. Always questioning. He's a kindred spirit I connect with on a deep level.

The thing I love most about my daughter is that she is so different than me. Carefree. Almost always cheerful and affectionate. She's a light cool healing breeze to my soul.

Thank you Lord for these precious people. I see you in them.

Story Time with Silas

2011-05-01T19:55:00.000-07:00

Everyday when I put Silas down for a nap he gets a story. (unless he got down from his room during nap time the day before, then he misses out. It actually keeps him pretty motivated to stay in bed!)

Silas tells me what the story will be about that day and I take his inspiration and run with it. The first story started something like this: We were jumping on the bed and it crashed through the floor and went down, down, down through the white stuff to the bottom!

Hmm, interesting. I can work with this.

I begin the tale: Me, you and Mash were jumping on the bed and it crashed through the floor and went through the white stuff (what the white stuff is or 30% of his content I'll never know) and landed in a dark cave in the Land Down Under. Then we saw a dog walk up to us. He said Welcome to the Land Down Under! And we said WHHHAAAT??? A talking dog?? And he said What do you mean a talking dog? All animals talk in the Land Down Under! He told us his name was Mr. McGruff and showed us the door out of the cave. We looked around at beautiful rolling green hills and valleys. Then we decided we were all VEEEERRRRRYYY sleepy and we were worried that we couldn't get back home (the trick here is leaving suspense for the next day's story). Mr McGruff overheard our conversation and said Let me show you the way! He led us to an elevator with a big button that read Our Home. We piled in the elevator and Silas pushed the big button. We went up up up and when the door opened, we were in Silas' room. His closet was the elevator!

They're very short and they always end with me letting out a big fake yawn and everyone napping. And I've found that 4-year-old standards are quite low so even on my tired lame story telling days he has a big smile on his face.

But it's really fun to let our minds run free and see what we can think of. Along the way I usually find a way to slip in valuable subliminal messages about things like bravery, forgiveness, or him protecting his sister.

Sometimes we go to the Land Down Under where we might ride a tiger over the hills or Silas and Mash might swim in the upside down swimming pool for KIDS ONLY.

Or there's the Land Up High where Grassy the flamingo lives and the clouds are trampolines and you have to slide down a giant blue swirly slide to get back to Silas' closet.

Or Daddy drives too fast and we fly out of the car and roll all the way to Cowyifornia and let the waves chase us. Or we jump too high on the bed and crash through the window and roll to Oklahoma and ride horses with cowboys (rolling places or falling through floors are his plot lines of choice).

Looks like all that imagination propaganda from my early years is finally paying off.

Pic of the Day

2011-04-26T21:55:00.000-07:00

My little 40-year-old.

Beauty Sleep

2011-04-17T14:40:00.000-07:00

Brian and Mash after their Saturday nap.

I thought they looked scrumptious.

Especially this one.

Turning 4

2011-03-26T22:44:00.000-07:00

My oldest child,

the one who is incredibly relational and wants to know what everyone and everything is experiencing,

the one who wants desperately to follow rules but has the strongest will I've ever witnessed,
(besides my own)

the one that makes me cry out to Jesus for help because it takes so much to parent him,

the one who loves tractors and machinery,

the one who holds the door open for me and Mash and anyone else who needs help,

the one who loves to hear stories about my childhood,

the one who has the gift of affirmation and I see the goodness of God in every day,

yeah that one,

he turned 4.

I love him.

Recently someone told me that children start school when they're 5.
Say what? There's gotta be some sort of mix-up. I thought I had at least another decade.

The news has left a seed of panic in my heart.
And I promised myself I wouldn't do this. I wanted to be a mom who celebrated the different stages of my children's lives. A mom who didn't mourn her children growing.

But that all feels like a load of crap now that I realize that one day he will be a tall hairy man with a deep voice and he probably won't love it when I squeeze his sugar buns! The horror! He won't squeal with delight when I chase him and act silly. I won't look down and see his sweet little hand in mine when we cross the street.

My nail-beds haven't been the same since.

With that said, I am quite optimistic about the tall hairy man he will become.

And I'm certainly looking forward to mothering him through the years.
Who knows, maybe he'll still hold my hand every once in a while.

My 29th Birthday

2011-03-15T21:28:00.000-07:00

Brian is upstairs giving Mash a bath as I type this.

14 hours earlier:

I woke up this morning, poured myself a bowl of cereal and sprinkled on some fiber (things don't move like they did in the early twenties). I was showered with love by a few birthday calls. With a smile in my heart I got the kids and myself ready to go into town.

I picked up my boo from work and we all ate a delicious lunch at Chick-fil-A. They gave me these cards. Silas sweetly showed me the special care he put into all the different colors he used just for me. And one of my favorite things is when Brian draws me pictures on special occasions. The ones from our childless years are pretty impressive. As you can see, he's had to scale down a bit. It looks like even started to misspell my name, poor guy.

After lunch I took the kids shopping and then we came home for naps. Well, Madison at least.

Later we ate dinner around the table and Brian prayed thanksgiving for me being born and being the mother of our family. Then I watched Biggest Loser while Brian spent at least 2 hours making me a home-made chocolate cake with home-made chocolate frosting. The 2 hours were courtesy of the monkeys he had sitting on the counter helping him. (And just to be clear, I never refer my children as monkeys as if it's a sweet nickname. I mean literal monkeys - stinky and squatting, making screeching noises, sticking their fingers in things, bouncing, and swatting each other.)

They lit candles, sang happy birthday, and we ate the best cake that's ever touched my lips. When everyone was quietly eating Silas looked me in the eye and said Mommy I love you so much. And happy birthday too!* These unsolicited affectionate moments from my kids happen from time to time and they stop me dead in my tracks. We hugged and ate some more.

After the cakefest I started doing lunges and squats, my new regimen after eating sugar or carbs (because of recently discovered blood sugar issues) and as usual the kids joined me, giving us huge belly laughs. We haven't caught it on film yet but when we do I'll share the hilarity.

(Important note: the lunges got the little girl's bowels moving).

Then we all snuggled on the couch while I opened my email and facebook to see so many well wishes for my birthday. I felt full to the brim with love.

Madison and Silas played by our legs in between the couch and ottoman. It was at this point that Madison looked at us and quietly said "poo poo." She was naked. Brian asked me if I thought she was bluffing. We were so comfortable and full of cake and milk. I replied, well it could be real because she isn't around anything related to poop. But we lazily looked back to the computer and kept reading.

A few minutes later Madison squeezed in between Brian and I and held up what she had in her hand. For a split second I thought it was a chunk of chocolate cake. Brian thought it was a mini Baby Ruth. Then realization washed over both of us and we understood that she was handing us a perfectly formed little baby turd. Out of shock we screamed which made her jump and the turd rolled out of her hand and onto the couch where it rested against my leg. Brian kept his wits about him while I yelled 'She wasn't bluffing!" We frantically gave the children a once over but they still had chocolate on their faces and a few body parts and we couldn't tell the difference between that and the feces. Then I saw the pile on the (thankfully hardcover) book Silas was standing on. No question as to what that was. It was squeezing out from in between his toes.

He followed my gaze down to his foot and saw the horror for himself. He started screaming and jumping. I was torn because the turd was still on the couch (only 5 seconds has elapsed at this point) being wriggled with every panicked move we made. I grabbed the tissue paper from my gift bag and grabbed the poop like they do at the donut store and wrapped it up for later. No time for a trip to the trash can. Then I swooped up my boy and carried him like a baby to wash his foot. And the chocolate cake while I was at it.

Later I laughed while I scrubbed the carpet, book, and couch with disinfectants.

And now I'm back at the computer writing this while Brian finishes washing the turd wrangler.

Despite the poop attack, today has been a better than usual birthday.
Ordinary but filled with love.

* Just to keep it real and prevent any idealization of my life from my future self or anyone else, Silas shocked me (and earned himself a spanking) this morning when I told him it was my birthday and he pointed his finger in my face and yelled repeatedly NO ITS MY BIRTHDAY! IT'S MINE!
He had himself a little Smeagol moment.

Mad Puzzle Skills

2011-03-14T07:54:00.000-07:00

I bought this Candyland puzzle at TJ Maxx for $1.00.

Full of optimism, I opened it up and we got to work.

This was the end result.

One year olds only eat and hoard jigsaw puzzles.

Our New Kitchen

2011-03-09T16:06:00.000-08:00

That hopefully won't be ours for long!

This is what we accomplished with $500.

(and hours of hard work with a dash of child neglect.)

Before and Afters

Here's a closer look:

The only thing left to do is convince my grandma to trade her white dishwasher for our black one.

It will have to pass a strict inspection though - she's one tough cookie.

When you wonder what this time was like...

2011-02-26T19:13:00.000-08:00

You tickle Madison's tiny little body and Silas' soft skin at least 50 times a day.

You find it nearly impossible to spank your daughter. You know the time will come soon enough.

You play "Dynamite" by Taio really loud and dance like a white girl with the kids.

You try to discipline to teach and not to control.

You lose your temper and you hate it.

You sincerely pray for peace and patience every morning.

You're teaching Mash odd body parts like armpits and eyebrows.

You're teaching Silas addition (if we put in 2 eggs, how many more to make 3?)

Mash says "Ger go" (there you go) and Silas says "Wudsed?" (what you said?)

You look at Brian in the thick of kids melting down and flash him "I love you" in sign language.

Then you give each other "I love you" high fives and like it that you're still dorks.

Other times you get angry and think he should parent more like you.

For the sake of your family you consider checking into a hotel (or mental hospital) once a month during a certain wonderful week.

You love the attentiveness and budding musicality in Silas.

You see the deep intelligence and affection in your daughter.

You long for silence and it feels like gold when you have it.

You try hard.

It really is hard.

You have moments when you want to run away.

You seek your Father and he reminds you of who you are.

Brian's feedback after reading this was You should add

"that's what she said" after the third line from the bottom.

He gets me.

Home Remedy: Biscuit Can Phobia

2011-02-17T21:08:00.000-08:00

One day I took a biscuit can to school for my 7th hour high school cooking class. When I took it out of my backpack I thought it was interesting how swollen and round it was. But I proceeded to peel the wrapper and wait for the thump. The thump never happened.

A biscuit bomb went off in my face.

I never opened a biscuit (cinnamon roll, crescent roll, etc.) can again.

But that all changed one night when I was home alone with the kids and I needed to get dinner started and eat or I was going to bite the head off a kitten in a low blood sugar rage. It was in this desperation that I found freedom from my phobia.

Oven Mitts!

To this day I put on my mitts and hold the can as far from my face as possible. Like magic the fear subsides and I open my eyes and peel the label like a sane person.

I know someone out there can use this.

Full House

2011-02-10T14:03:00.000-08:00

Our house occupancy doubled last weekend.

These beautiful people are staying with us while they close on their first home.

The old guy is my brother. That girl is his gal who is kind of awesome (witty, patient, loving - pretty much way out of his league). And lets not forget about their two little guys, Stink and Chunky.

Silas is having a grand old time showing his best buddy all of his toys and going on adventures.

Mash likes to rub Chunky's head and asks about him the minute she wakes up.

Doubling the amount of tiny ones has added lots of noise and messes but also priceless laughter and quality time. It warms my heart to come home and see their cars in the driveway.

Pic of the Day

2011-02-03T13:20:00.000-08:00

Effective Time Management

Home Remedy: Getting Little Kids Dressed

2011-01-25T13:31:00.000-08:00

Ever found yourself in the circus of dressing your children before you leave?

This used to be my version:

Run upstairs to get a shirt and pants and chase down the 1 year old. Find the underpants of the 3 year old and engage in mental battle to get him to wear this pair with the dinosaurs on them. Realize the 1 year old's shoes are also upstairs and go back to get them. Chase her down again and get her in your lap and look around for socks. They're in her sock drawer. Cry a little. Go get the socks and continue the circus repeating similar steps for the 3 year old. Leave the house what seems like (or actually is) 2 hours later.

Here's the remedy:

Gather everything you need in one spot before you attempt contact with the children.

Genius huh?

Now they play while I run around grabbing clothes, socks, shoes, diapers, underwear, hats, jackets, and anything else they will be wearing and throw them in a pile. Then I catch a little one and have them in my lap only once! No more chasing over and over. No more getting angrier with each article I have to go find.

One day I hope to have children who dress themselves. But right now my sensory kid (more on that later) and tiny dancer need my assistance. And I've been leaving an average of 10 minutes earlier with this new method. That's worth something!

The Curse of Good Parking

2011-01-19T13:14:00.000-08:00

I took the kids to Wal-mart the other day and we happened to score a killer parking space. It was crowded so this pack mule was pretty pumped.

When we got done shopping and back to the car I unlocked all the doors. No key-less entry here, we're all about character building (wink!). I told Silas to climb in his seat. He did while I unbuckled my rabid chimp from the front of the cart and and took a deep breath to brace myself for the struggle about to ensue. As I carried her to her seat I started in with Tactic 1: Distraction. Mash, did you see Kahlua (my mom's horse) at Guh Guh's house? What does Kahlua say? (I make loud horse noises and make my body shiver like a horse). She giggled but then started to realize that I was strapping her in and started shrieking. I quickly moved to Tactic 2: Brute Force because her tiny body was escaping and undoing all of my progress. I laid my body across her to hold down her arms while I buckle her in (still shrieking). She had tears streaming down her cheeks and I felt guilty because we'd been running errands all day and I knew she was craving play.

So I start playing peek-a-boo through the window. Now she's laughing. So hard that I keep doing it and start laughing pretty hard myself. Then Silas begs me to do him so I look at him and do more peek-a-boo's followed by Mommy's gonna get you! in my annoying talking to children voice.

I notice that my hair looks like a crazy lady in the reflection so I stare at myself and fix my ponytail.

I unload the groceries.

I place the cart precariously between the four corners of the cars around me and watch for it to roll. It stays. Good work Angie.

I play a few more BOO!'s for good measure.

I tell Mash how funny she is through the window.

I stand up, exhale loudly, mumble Man I'm beat, and smile when I remember it's about to be nap time.

I hike up my pants past my muffin top to conceal the previously revealed plumbers crack.

I pick my wedgie.

I shut the trunk

That's when I finally notice a man in a truck with his windows down who's been watching our little side show for the last 10 minutes while waiting on my parking spot with a line of 18 angry cars behind him.

People. Never try to wait for a parking spot that belongs to a mom with kids. I didn't even feel guilty. Like a huge dork, yes, but not guilty. That was just bad decision making.

Traffic Lessons

2011-01-09T20:23:00.000-08:00

When Silas was younger I told him that he had to be careful around cars because they would hit him and he would be smashed like a pancake.

Over time the warning evolved. This is what people hear if they're walking near us in a parking lot.

Mommy I don't want to get smashed like a pancake. Cause you will pour syrup on me and eat me. And then I will be poop and I will go in the toilet. But it's ok Daddy said if I'm poop he will turn to poop and come with me down the toilet. Will you turn to poop too Mommy?

Somewhere along the way the point got lost.

Christmas O'10

2011-01-05T20:33:00.000-08:00

There was indoor four-wheeling

and quality family crafting time.

See the shockingly cute baby on the left? That's cousin Macin.
Snuggling with her will raise your blood sugar.

Mash scored a big pillow in the cousin gift exchange. Cousins were jealous.

On Christmas morning they ate candy.

When I handed Mash her first gift I thought I heard her say Mom, you had me at candy.

She wouldn't let anyone near her for about 20 minutes as she guarded her stash.

Silas walked like a cowboy with his Sheriff Woody gear.

I like this picture of Silas and his Aunt Kristin. I call it "Locked Gazes."

The finale was in Houston where we held playground Olympics.

And my children were loved on even more.

The biggest blessing for us this Christmas was seeing the kids form special bonds with their great-grandmothers. Talk about incredible women. What a blessing to be able to spend unhurried time listening to their stories and be on the receiving end of their love.

Confession Time

2011-01-03T13:14:00.000-08:00

Sometimes my house looks like this.

If someone came to rob our house they would say Look Hank, the place has been ransacked. Someone beat us to it. (It's part of our security measures.)

Now I know there are many women who are able to stay on the very top step of the cleanliness stairmaster. They never falter and have to fight their way back up.

I'm not one of them.

So here's to all of us stairmaster climbers who some days fall completely off the machine, other days climb to the top and live in (brief) bliss, but always get back on and keep trying.

Cheers!

Remodel

2011-01-02T21:33:00.000-08:00

I hate finding new blogger templates. After wasting a few precious "kids are in bed" hours with only a floral banner on top of a bird template to show for it, Brian did this for me. Thanks B!

Christmas!

2010-12-23T14:40:00.000-08:00

Brian and I are loving sharing what Christmas is all about, the story of the world and God's redemption, with our little guy who's getting old enough to get some of it.

Here's a video that's been pretty popular in our house lately.

And here are our some of our favorite Christmas pictures.

Hope you have a great Christmas!

Christmas Program

2010-12-17T17:22:00.000-08:00

Silas has a beautiful singing voice. From a remarkably young age he has been able to sing on pitch and keep great rhythm. The only problem is that he can be shy about singing in front of people. I know he's only three but I'm afraid of him developing the phobia I have about people hearing me sing. I have a decent voice but the only person I've ever sang in front of for real has been the safest person on earth, my husband, who doesn't have a critical morsel in his body and isn't capable of giving false praise. But I hate that I have such a hard time letting loose and just singing!

So as this year's Christmas program approached, I developed a plan. We practiced his songs and I talked to him about how it's good and courageous to sing loud so people can hear your beautiful voice. Then came the bribe or what I like to think of as "encouragement." I told him if he was brave enough to sing quietly we would LOVE hearing his voice and he would get a piece of candy. And if he was brave enough to sing loud for everyone to hear he would get candy and a new hot wheels car.

I'm on the fence about this parenting tactic but I wanted to give him a push to get him over the fear.

I ended up getting a little more than I bargained for.

Things I Learned in California: Lesson 4

2010-12-12T14:09:00.000-08:00

We are Disney fans.

I never got the Disneyworld/land craze before. Even as a child I never really had the urge. I lived by Six Flags and what was the big deal about this Disney place?

But then we went to Disneyland with our 3 and 1 year old. I don't know about it being the happiest place on earth but I would say it's pretty darn happy. It turned out to be the highlight of our vacation.

In this shop they pretended to have parents that bought them $20 ear hats.

The rides were unique and plentiful for the young ones. Silas is still beaming about being able to pilot a rocket ship.

The characters were friendly and brought Silas sheer joy.
(we'll overlook the terror they caused Mash)

The music and attention to detail made the stress-ridden theme park experience much more enjoyable. We didn't want to leave.

If we ever win the lottery we're going on a Disney cruise.

I wonder what one's chances of winning the lottery drop to when you don't play it.

Things I learned in California: Lesson 3

2010-12-01T20:53:00.000-08:00

I'm married to Clark Griswold. The unrealistic expectations. The over-the-top plans.

Every night we had a version of this conversation when Brian got to the hotel room after work. Angie: What do you think we should do tonight? It's been a really long day for us. You know, we haven't been further than 3 feet away from each other all day. Plus they didn't nap and it's already their bedtime. What if we go to one of the Disney restaurants close by and then put the kids down early and we watch a movie? Brian: I was really wanting to check out Santa Monica Beach. They have a pier with carnival rides and it's supposed to be cool. Angie: You know that will take about an hour to get there and we'll probably hit traffic going through L.A. And it's getting cold outside. Brian: Ahh, we should do it. The kids will be fine!

We proceed to drive for 1.5 hours (while I hold my ears and go to my happy place because the kids are screaming and hungry) walk out on the chilly pier and look at the rides that are closed for the night.

When we were leaving Brian looked over the quarter mile of beach down to the water and said, "I've never walked on a beach at night, lets take the stroller down there." The cold wet wind hit my face and I watched him strain to push the double stroller 5 feet into the sand. I looked at how far he had to go and told him Clark, I mean Brian, turn the stroller around and come back to the car. It will take you all night to get to the water and the kids coughs are getting worse and Madison's eyes are frozen. I patted him on the back and promised him we'd see the beach at night another time.

The examples go on and on. Like another time when I tried to convince him that we should eat at the little diner out on the water instead of the nice Hawaiian restaurant on the beach with the valet service and people walking in wearing business clothes. But my Clarky wanted to try the Hawaiian food. I'm sure he had visions of us being serenaded by ukuleles, the children throwing their heads back in laughter as we fed each other food from our kabobs. Reality looked more like Madison throwing crayons at the table next to us, screaming from exhaustion, and covering herself with macaroni while I quietly played "I spy" with Silas and pretended I wasn't there.

But, when it was all said and done, we had some good laughs. And even though his thirst for adventure squelches all rational thought,
I love the man.

Things I Learned in California: Lesson 2

2010-11-26T21:22:00.000-08:00

Beaches are therapeutic.
We went straight from the airport to this beautiful place.

At first I was still in fluttering mode. I followed the kids around snapping pictures, pointing things out and asking questions.

But soon the beach got to me. The feel of the sand, splash of water on my feet, sound of waves crashing, the warmth and shimmer of sunlight.

I started to breathe deeper. I relaxed. I played.

Frisbee with Brian and "Find the Buried Treasure" with Silas.

Belly laughs when Madison suddenly ran full speed into the water only to face-plant and roll like a log in the wet sand.

I think there are places on this earth where our creator was especially creative. I feel the most content in these places. They touch a place in the soul seldom reached by the suburbs of Dallas.

Things I learned in California: Lesson 1

2010-11-22T22:08:00.000-08:00

It's not the flight with children that is to be feared. It's getting through the airport.

Here's our entourage: An XXL double stroller. A huge car seat. A matching second huge car seat. Diaper bag. Laptop bag. Duffel bag full of toys and food. Roller carry on suitcase. Toddler who doesn't speak English and runs like a wild animal the minute she is set down. Preschooler with major sensory issues who woke up 2 hours early and hasn't eaten breakfast. Mother and father who have never flown with kids and rarely flown without kids.

We start by checking our one gigantic suitcase packed so full that the zipper is slowly popping apart because we're too cheap to pay the fees to check more.

Then we innocently herd ourselves into the security checkpoint line. I start reading the signs. Laptops must be removed from laptop bags. Hmm. That's a problem because we worked for 20 minutes this morning wedging two laptops into one laptop bag to bring our total of 87 things to carry down to 86. But we do it.

The next sign is about liquids. I bite my lip and eye the diaper bag. No telling what's in that abyss. I start emptying it. We've taken up 5 plastic bins so far.

Things start moving faster. I take off all of our shoes, my belt (enter next problem, my pants start falling down because my body doubles in width above my pants and the laws of physics start to take effect). Silas naturally goes exploring and is embarrassed when security sternly tells him he can't be back here. Brian is trying to shove the double stroller into the x-ray machine (ramming is probably more accurate) while security tells him Sir, you're going to have to check that, and people are starting to make comments and get uncomfortably close in an effort to speed things along. The plastic bin count is up to 10 and I am informed that I need to meet with a security guard to test the liquid in our sippee cups. Silas is suddenly terrified of the metal detector and I drag him kicking and screaming with my free hand, squeeze the little monkey against me with my other arm, and squirt the guard with the sweat shooting out of my face as I walk through. I hear Brian yelling in the background "Angie, they're saying the car seats are too big to fit through the machine!" I look at him with fireball eyes that scream "Deal with it and don't even think about letting them take our car seats!"

Silas has a massive meltdown at my feet and Madison tries to do acrobatics to get out of my arms as I watch the security guard wave test strips over the water in their sippee cups. Ok ma'am, you're good to go! So I run off through the airport and hop on a flight to St. Lucia. Then I snap back to reality and wrestle my child to the ground to replace his shoes, take him behind the chairs to give a spanking for the horrible behavior, find my younger escapee, meet up with my husband and tell him lets not let this ruin our trip, give him a high five, send him to grab breakfast while I reassemble all of our belongings, and see him return with a gigantic gooey cinnamon roll (that won't be hard to feed to two fussy children on a cramped plane at all).

It was so hot in that airport.

We were the last people to board the plane. Brian hit people with the car seat he had heaved behind his back as he squeezed down the aisle like a pack mule.

Why was I so worried about the flight? It went great. The monkey was strapped in the car seat and I had an endless supply of food and toys. It was so fun to see the excitement on Silas' face and hear his little voice say Are we floating in the air? Is this your plane Daddy? Are we going backwards? We're flying up high in the sky!

The other good news is that we knew what to expect on the way home.

It went the same, just without the element of surprise.

Lacking Activity

2010-11-14T20:59:00.000-08:00

Let me explain my absence. Two kinds of sick bugs (stomach and flu) have been making laps around the 4 of us. Then we decided to pack up, coughs and all, and head to sunny California for a week. I figured sharing our germs might even the score with these Californians with their rock hard abs and their 70 degree year long weather. Actually, Brian was going for a week long business trip and I wasn't having it.

Pictures and stories to come.
Like when Silas begged pweeeze I don't want to stay in a honytail! (sounds like ponytail and he means hotel). I wonder what he thought a honytail was.

Latest Food Kick

2010-10-26T19:29:00.000-07:00

I was a big fan of HandiSnacks when I was little and it turns out my kids are too. Everyday I hear Mommy I need some dippin sticks pweeze! Mash is always close behind raising one arm and shouting one of her only phrases, I do!

That cheesy mystery concoction still doesn't disappoint.

Preview

2010-10-17T18:16:00.000-07:00

This fireman and his fire dog will hit the streets in two weeks.

My little three year old can hardly wait.

I couldn't figure out what he meant when he asked morning after morning if we were going to get candy today. Boy you done lost yo mind. When have we ever gone to get you candy? Then finally he said you know, when we knock on the doors!

Oh I get it I get it. Not for a few weeks sweetie.

Burning Brush

2010-10-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

I shared a picture of Brian's sooty legs a while back and this is their story.

One night Brian came in from working outside and said, Man when we set the brush pile on fire it is going to be crazy! I asked why and he said he had dumped about 100 gallons of vegetable oil and a barrel of fat on top of the fire (Remember his truck runs on vegetable oil? We're not into soap making or mass food production). And not to mention the oil was dumped on a mountain range of dried tree branches from landscaping our entire property.

The next day were all sitting at the table eating lunch when Brian said, Hmm I thought I saw smoke going by the window. Must have been dust.

A minute later we both saw it. A huge cloud of smoke blowing past the window. Brian stood up and looked out the back door and started running. I got up and looked and saw a huge fire blazing in the back part of our property. About 100 feet from the house. It was huge. And very tall. And it hadn't rained in a long time and this day happened to be breezy and extra hot. The blaze spread was spreading extremely fast and was already past the fence.

In typical Brian fashion, he grabbed the water hose and started running barefoot towards the fire. I said calmly, Brian I think this is one for the fire department. He kept running but yelled back at me, Yeah, call 911! So I did and help was on the way.

But while we waited for the professionals Brian and I were quite the team. He yelled for me to find more hose so I bravely dug around in an area I like to call the "snake pit" which is behind the shop where the copperheads live and the leaves are 2 feet deep. I found a hose and ran to take it to him when I noticed his feet were completely black and he was standing funny like they were burning. He was real impressed when I brought him his crocs. But in spite of his gear my unorthodox but highly competent husband was able to get the fire under control by running laps around the blaze with the water hose before the fire department arrived.

The firemen worked fast and before long all that remained were a few barrels that Brian wanted to let burn down. That was when I thought, Oh yeah I locked the kids in the house and I should take pictures of this.

At one point a container of vegetable oil turned over and started spilling out. One of the firemen saw the stream coming from the jug and started to run yelling Look out Bill there's gasoline! And Brian said oh no that's just vegetable oil. They were a little unsure. Vegetable oil? What are you a cook or something?

I found the kids running around making siren noises inside.

Silas loved that real firemen came to his house.

They gave Brian some funny looks when he explained how the fire started spontaneously. Uh huh. Sure it did. Fires start by themselves all the time.

I think Brian liked the way this brush burn went down.

He's a sucker for a good adrenaline rush.

My Little Cockatiel

2010-10-08T09:41:00.000-07:00

I think she would appraise for well over a billion.

Science with the B Man

2010-10-04T21:27:00.000-07:00

We are nerds.

Brian is the type of nerd who has endless amounts of knowledge packed in his brain and he can figure anything and I mean anything out. I'm the type who is intelligent in a select few areas but can't retain anything in any area and is always doing something awkward.

In my early twenties (I'm ashamed to say) Brian informed me that stars were distant suns in other galaxies. I died laughing at first because I knew that stars were just twinkling little balls in between all of the planets in our solar system. I would often wonder how astronauts managed to avoid them in their trips to the moon. Hi I'm Angie and I missed an average of 30 days of school every semester because my mom had rebellion issues. You can see why I was blown away to realize I was seeing suns in other galaxies. It rocked my world.

Last night we were in bed talking before we went to sleep and at some point he mentioned that the time dimension is different in space than on earth. I told you we're nerds. What the heck are you talking about Brian? Yeah, time is different in space. If you take a digital clock into space it will come back with a different time than here on earth.

I assured him that time is just a concept in our heads. A unit of measurement. Time being a dimension is just silly talk. If the time is off on the clock that went to space it's because the air pressure or some other difference made it malfunction. That's like saying that 12 inches is different on earth than it is in space.

Actually Angie, you bring up another interesting point. Length changes at the speed of light. A foot at the speed of light is shorter than a foot standing still. Length shrinks with speed.

I gave up and told him that's enough outta you Bill Nye, I gotta get me some beauty rest. But secretly I was impressed once again with my husband's smarts. And the good news is that I think he passed it on to Silas who is turning out to be sharp as a tack.

By the way, if this is the first time you've heard about the stars being far away suns, don't be ashamed. Sometimes these little facts just slip through the cracks.

Another Kroger Moment

2010-09-28T15:13:00.000-07:00

Someone did the nicest thing today. We were leaving Kroger and my bag of ice was falling out of the cart so I stopped to put it back underneath. When I looked up Silas was standing in the middle of the busy street crossing in front of the store. At the same time I saw a huge truck turning out of the row and heading towards him. A primal scream came out of me Silas! and he started running back to me. People around me also screamed when they saw what was happening. I got him back to the cart and bent down pulling him close to me, trying to decide what to do. I pointed to all of the cars explaining what would happen if they ran over him, trying to paint a very vivid picture. I made him look in my eyes and repeat what I was telling him and promising me that he would only go in the street if mommy was with him. I could tell he was embarrassed and a little upset so I gave him a big hug and told him I don't ever want him to get hurt. We walked to our car with him holding onto the cart.

When we got to the car a woman drove over and stopped. She said I just have to tell you how awesome I think you handled that. If that were me I would have lost it and at least screamed at my child! You did such an amazing job teaching him and not getting carried away with your emotions.

It's powerful to get that kind of encouragement as a parent. You feel such a huge responsibility when you raise children and so much of the time you magnify your flaws and your victories rarely make it on the radar. For instance, as I was walking to my car I was thinking of how I let my guard down and my child ran into the street, not that I did anything good afterward. If you ever see a parent doing something well, you should take the time to let them know (even, maybe especially, if it's your spouse!)

On another note, I can't believe the things that come out of Silas' mouth these days. He's so stinkin entertaining.

When we got home he and I ate lunch together at the dinner table with The Biggest Loser playing in the living room. He wanted to know why that lady was crying. I told him that sometime people's bodies get too big and then they feel really bad and it's hard for them to move and walk. And that lady was sad because she didn't feel good but she was going to work really hard to make her body smaller again so she could run and jump and feel better. He was very interested.

He asked me if my body ever gets too big. I told him yes, when I carried you in my belly my body got very big then I had to exercise alot to get it smaller again. He asked where you do that exercise at? I said here in my house. Where? he asked again. Right here in my house I repeated. But Mommy, this is my house. Where your house at?

Adventure in Carter's

2010-09-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

I have a problem. My urge to use coupons is so strong I can hardly go into any store without them. This makes spontaneous shopping almost impossible for me. But on the bright side it saves our family a decent amount of money.

A few months ago, I took the kids to the outdoor mall armed with a 20% off coupon to Carter's. Silas and Mash were low on pajamas so I was going to grab a few pairs then let the kids get some energy out at the play ground. I pushed the stroller out of the sweltering heat and into the cool oasis of Carter's.

To my pleasant surprise there were about 8 round racks in the back of the store full of pajamas and clothes marked 70% off. Most of the items were around $18.00 to start with so I started doing the math. Let's see, if they are 70% off then I can just figure 90% off since I have the 20% off coupon. Wait let me make sure the coupon will work on the sale items. I ask the lady. Yes they sure do! Ok back to the math. I guess that would mean I just pay 10%. Wait that makes these things $1.80. Holy Cow. A 4-piece pajama set for $1.80! Endless 2-piece girl and boy outfits for $1.80! Is this really happening?

Kids, go makes yourselves at home. Mama's got some shopping to do!

I set Mash on the floor to crawl around on the carpet (she still wasn't walking at the time) and I started loading up the stroller like I was on Supermarket Sweep. My mission engrossed me. I was thinking of upcoming birthdays, holidays, and the seasons in the coming years my kids would need clothes for. The stroller grew taller and heavier by the minute.

Mash and Silas also ventured further and further away by the minute. I heard the ladies working the cash registers telling Silas to come back in the store a few times. And I heard a few exclamations of surprise when women would comb through the clothes on the rack and notice a baby sitting on the floor in the middle of the clothes rack smiling up at them. They would look for a mother nearby but there were none to be found. Then there were times when Mash attempted to climb in other strollers to play with the baby inside. This went on for a long time. I chuckled to myself at everyone's shock from my children's behavior but I also felt hesitation, thinking I should stop shopping and tend to my children. But then I pounded my chest with my fist and told myself You have to do this Angie. You don't have a choice. $1.80 is a once in a lifetime opportunity!

After almost an hour had passed I was starting to lose track of what I had stacked in the mountain of clothes on the stroller. The kids were starting to get irritable. Their free reign of Carter's inspired them to relieve their bowels (in the worst way) and the smell was starting to fill the store. And worst of all, my blood sugar was getting low. But I ignored my shakes and the smell and shooed away the kids and pressed on a little longer.

When I started to realize that this was going to be a quite expensive total, I looked around and decided I had gotten my fill of the bargain. Man this is awesome. Let's go check out and see what an amazing deal I got on all these clothes. I stood in line and counted about 50 items. My total should be about $97. That hurts a little but it's the right decision.

The lady scanned all of my clothes while the kids cried around my feet. Silas made known his hunger, thirst, and dirty diaper to the world (not that the last one was any mystery). Mash made general pathetic cries and tried to climb up my legs, pulling my pants down in the process.

Ok ma'am, your total is $239. Ummm, that can't be right. Did my coupon work? Yes ma'am it did. I thought my total would be $97. How much was each item? Let's see, it looks like they are all a little under $5. But they were supposed to be 90% off. Something's wrong here.

Then she dealt the blow. The 20% is taken off the total after the 70%. I took a deep breath. It wasn't a pleasant one either. Although $5 was still a decent bargain for clothes, it didn't justify my mountain. I knew I had to put most of the clothes back. The kids screamed and pleaded for a change of scenery that included food and clean diapers as I sorted through and found a few pairs of pajamas to buy. I paid my $15, put the kids in the now empty stroller and headed out to find a bathroom to clean them.

Afterward we sat at a picnic table and ate our sandwiches I brought from home. Did I mention I'm a cheapskate? The kids were happy and I smiled as I watched them eat. I decided to make it up to them, the whole hour of neglect and irritability they just endured, by stopping at the Tollhouse Cookie store on the way to the playground. That's right kids, when we feel upset we soothe ourselves with food.

At the playground (sorry this story is never ending) a sweet mom saw how profusely I was sweating and gave me a spare rubberband out of her diaper bag for me to put my hair up with. The germophobe in me really didn't want to use it but she just stared at me waiting. So I put my hair up and was thankful for the breeze on my neck. Then about 5 minutes later her daughter came running out of the train SCREAMING and bawling saying someone punched her in the face. We were all very alarmed as the mom consoled her. She asked her daughter who did it. Her daughter took her by the hand and led her to the culprit. Hmm looks like they're walking toward Silas. Wait she's pointing at Silas (bawling and clinging to her mom). I jumped up and asked Silas if he hit the girl. He said yes, she wouldn't share the steering wheel whiff me! The mom gave me the dirtiest look, as if I encouraged Silas to hit her daughter. While I was informing Silas of what was going to happen later I noticed the mom was still scowling at me. It really was an awkwardly long dirty look. I had Silas in my lap and didn't know what to say so I just offered back her rubberband. She said, No you can keep it! Come on we're leaving! And with that unfortunate incident, we ended our trip to the mall.

Silas got his spanking from Daddy that night and learned his lesson about hitting people, especially girls.

But the real moral of this story is about coupons. Remember that your coupon is taken off the second total, not added to the initial discount. Thank you and goodnight.

Realized Daydreams

2010-09-16T11:02:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant with Silas I had two months between finishing grad school and giving birth where I just laid around waiting. It was during these months that I watched food network 8 hours a day and learned to cook. I also gained nearly 50 pounds in that time which I think may be some sort of record.

On warm days I would take a break from Paula, Ina and Giada to sit in the sun and listen to music outside. One song I was particularly fond of was Rascal Flatts "My Wish." I would think about my future son and tear up as I sang the lyrics. "Oh you'd find God's grace in every mistake and always give more than you take..."

I rested and relished the last days of childlessness but also eagerly awaited meeting the little guy growing inside me.

Fast forward to yesterday. Me and the monkeys were upstairs playing in Silas' room. I ran across a mixed CD I made for Silas before he was born to play in his nursery. So I popped it in and we listened to a few songs while we played. Then the Rascal Flatts song came on. I said Oh Silas! I used to sing this to you while you were in my belly! And I was filled with love and a sense of wonder that the baby I used to sing to was already 3 years old. We danced to the music, me dipping him, him giggling, me kissing his sweet cheeks.

I did have to pause the song once to administer a spanking after Mash tried to cut in and Silas pushed her down. He's always keeping it real. But I pushed play after the crying stopped and we danced some more.

Funny, the spankings never happened in my daydreams back then.

For Your Hump Day

2010-09-07T21:41:00.000-07:00

Pictures that amuse me.

Sitting on the back door rug waking up together.

They made a joint decision that it would be a good idea to sit with their blankets they lay their face on every night on the rug that we wipe our feet on every day.
The cuteness of the moment made up for it though.

I threw a cup of ice water at my mom (for good reason).

But I forgot that it had ice in it.

I was pretty shocked when she stood up and had blood coming down her face.

These pictures are what happens when Mash encounters water.

And when I forget to pack a swimmer diaper.

My superhero husband's legs after singlehandedly and barefootedly putting out the fire raging towards our house.

Rolly-Poly Invasion

2010-09-01T15:06:00.000-07:00

Large numbers of friendly rolly polys (aka pill bugs) come visit our house every day. It's kind of random and gross but I really don't mind because people in other areas get invaded by crickets which are muhuhuch worse. Those things cause me more sleep deprivation than a newborn. I have sensory issues when it comes to sleeping. Remember the bird?

I captured these two mourning the loss of a fallen comrade.

The only real downside to the rolly poly plague is that little miss Mash thinks they are quite tasty. Nearly every time she walks by me I study her mouth to see if she's eating one. I've had to master the "squeeze the cheeks finger sweep" maneuver on our little hunter and gatherer.

When the stars align and I get out the broom to sweep, she thinks I'm making dinner. She follows me around clapping and chuckling. Then she gets real smart. She quietly watches me put the dust pan contents in the trash (standing with her hands together behind her back sweetly smiling at me). Then she waits for me to walk away. She tips the trash can and starts reaching for her treasure. One time I thought I heard her say Where have you been all my life as she dug.

That girl. Can't get her to eat a morsel of human food but give her a plate of rolly polys and she'll lick it clean. And I'll be honest, her enthusiasm has piqued my curiosity. Who knows, maybe they taste like Snickers.

Out of It

2010-08-29T22:36:00.000-07:00

When the kids and I got home Friday after running around I walked up to our front door to find it slightly opened. My veins filled with adrenaline as I remembered I definitely locked the door and that our neighbors house was robbed a few weeks ago. Did our house get broken into? I looked back at the car, thankful the kids were still buckled in their seats. Trying not to make a sound, I pushed the door open slowly. The living room was dark with toys scattered here and there. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. I creeped inside, all of my senses on full alert.

Then I saw something on the floor to my left. Isn't that the diaper bag we just had with us while we ran errands? Confusion filled my brain. Followed by clarity. Oh yeah, I already made one trip in with our stuff and I left the door open so I could carry in the kids.

After slapping myself repeatedly I brought the kids in and put them down for their naps. I sat down on the couch with my lunch and chuckled to myself over the incident. In the back of my mind I kept thinking this sandwich tastes funny. When there were two bites left I saw that I forgot to put meat in my sandwich. Just lettuce mustard and cheese.

Anyone know where I can get some ginkgo biloba?

Best Bed Head Ever

2010-08-26T14:49:00.000-07:00

This is what Mash's mullet looks like in the mornings.

Isn't it great?

Proud Parenting

2010-08-23T21:59:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday we went to a surprise dinner. Everyone in our church was assigned to a group and you showed up to someone's home not knowing who was going to be there. Our group was a hit. We reconnected with some, met others for the first time, and ate delicious barbecue. Brian and I left saying that was really fun!

But let's rewind to the middle of the dinner. We were outside eating, visiting, laughing. Kids were running around the yard entertaining themselves. Then we heard a commotion amongst the children, a few sounds of disgust coming from the older girls. Out of the corner of my eye I found the cause. I sat shocked for a millisecond as my brain processed that my son's pants were down, his little pot belly stuck out as he leaned back, and an impressively large arc of pee was spraying out into the middle of the yard.

I jumped up from the table and ran to him but my intervening did nothing to salvage our dignity.

Oh, um Silas! Sweetie, we don't pee outside. I see confusion in his face. Well, we only pee outside at our house. He feels the need to clarify. Mommy, we pee pee and poo poo outside at my house. Yes, that's right. Clearing my throat, so thankful for his thoroughness. But, Silas, when we are at someone else's house we only go potty in the toilet. Everyone graciously laughed and I informed our host that her lawn had been christened.

But yeah that's right people. Our potty training son pees outside and on particularly constipated occasions is allowed to poop outside. Something about being out in nature gets his bowels moving. And when he hasn't pooped in six days, desperate times call for desperate measures. I just hope the neighbors understand that when they look over and see our naked son walking around dropping baby ruths.

Double Rainbow Week

2010-08-18T21:11:00.000-07:00

I just had one.

It all started with Brian taking a week off from work. It was really nice to have him home. We think he might go ahead and retire.

Then two of my favorite people in the world (Nikki and Emily) brought their kids and came to stay with us for the weekend. These gals are my dear friends. Brian is quite fond of their husbands as well. I'm sure those are the words he would use. We met in a life group almost 9 years ago and over the years they have become like family. When we're together we laugh off about 10,000 calories and I leave the presence of these women feeling understood and encouraged. Here's the fun we had:

Painting with chocolate pudding. Silas got a tummy ache when he tried to finish off the entire bowl. The boy loves chocolate more than a 40 year old woman after a stressful day.

The kids enjoyed rafting with Mr. Brian.

The older ones swam for at least 16 hours over the weekend.

Look at this handsome group. Mollie decided to show her best side.

We ended Brian's staycation week with a bang by taking the kids to a waterpark. They liked it. We liked it. We got there when it opened and stayed until they closed. It was one of those times when you sit back watching your children laugh in excitement and think, I absolutely love having kids. I think I want 16 more. But then it would cost $600 to go to a waterpark so that wouldn't really work. Darn those waterparks. They ruin everything.

Mash splashed, stomped and explored.

And napped in the heat.

Silas found some slides and played there all day.
He only took a break to try the wave pool.

This is what happened as we drove out of the parking lot.

Brian does it bother you when I photograph you driving?

Yes.

Is it still bothering you?

Yes Angie.

Ok just checking.

Today we had a "lay around" day at the house to recuperate. I asked Silas what he was thinking about as he quietly ate his lunch. Oh, juss thinkin about da wadapawk. Da owange swide and yewow swide and da bwue swide and da waves. I was doing the same thing.
Feeling blessed.

Monkeys are Scary

2010-08-05T21:47:00.000-07:00

During the dead silence of last night a screaming Silas burst into our room. Unfortunately this is not unusual but I must have been in a deep sleep stage because I woke up startled not knowing where I was or who was screaming. When I came to I quickly became focused on comforting my child. His chest was heaving as he clung to his daddy. This wasn't the typical night waking. He was reeheeheeheeally scared. I could see that Brian was in "Brian-sleepy-zombie" mode because he was actually still asleep while he sat up holding Silas. I stepped in.

Did you have a bad dream sweetie? (rubbing his head)
Yes!
What was your dream about?
A big monkey! (interesting I thought)
What did the monkey do?
The monkey tickled me then the monkeys got me. The monkeys were big and had lots of eyes and were HAIRY! They were big and they bumped their heads (he points to the ceiling). They were mean monkeys.
They came in my room and got me mommeeeeee!
I turned on the lights and rubbed his back saying, look Silas, you're in our room, there are no monkeys, you're ok (bringing him back to reality).
After I got him calmed down I slapped Brian on the back of the head and said wake up chump! He did and carried Silas back to his bed to help him go back to sleep.

But suddenly I wanted to be there with them and not alone in our bed. Silas was a little too thorough in his description of the monkeys. If you stop to picture a big hairy monkey with lots of eyes all up in your face and you have a problem like me where you tend to slip into scary fantasy worlds and think they're reality you would get scared too. I have to get soap in my eyes when I wash my face because if I close them I know a scary man will be standing behind me when I look up. My plan is to grow out of this when I turn thirty because you can't be thirty and still be scared of these shenanigans.

In the meantime let's pray that we get no more nightly visits from this guy.

Silas These Days

2010-08-02T20:36:00.000-07:00

Wears a baseball cap because the sun is too bwight.
Loves his giraffe.
Plays with his hands (right hand is "Big Hand" and has a deep voice, left hand is "Little Hand" and has squeaky voice)
Is fascinated with manly vehicles (semi-trucks, anything with a trailer, trucks with campers, car haulers, dump trucks, cement trucks, tractors, you get the picture.)
Asks, "Can I watch you go away?" when people leave.
Has stinky feet.
Eats a "peanut honey" every day for lunch (almond butter/raw honey sandwich.)
Says I love you in sign language by giving a peace sign.
Scratches my back for 1.9 seconds when I ask him to.
Says "you make me funny" instead of "you make me laugh."
Watches Mr. Rogers. Alot.
Say's goo goo ga ga and crawls whenever we give Mash attention.
Is very in touch with his and others' emotions.
Refuses to use toothpaste with fluoride (iss too hot mommy!)
Calls my purse a person.
Loves music (almost always singing, playing piano, dancing, and/or drumming.)
Asks every night at 8:30 if it's morning time (wishful thinking.)
Always always wants to help.
Likes to play karate chops, chase, and hide and seek.
Keeps me on my toes.

Quality Family Time

2010-07-23T07:31:00.000-07:00

Meet the Miller Traveling Band. All we require is a complete Rock Band setup (to accentuate our raw talent) and that nudity be allowed.

I don't know why he's naked. I never do.

Parent's Retreat

2010-07-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

This weekend we packed up grease lightening, dropped the kids off with mi madre and headed to San Antonio, TX for a little lover's getaway. You see, we haven't been lovers lately. We've sorta been fighters. So we needed a getaway.

We stayed in a hotel by the Riverwalk. Saturday we slept in. As in, didn't get woken up by a whiny 3-year old at 6:45. Yes Silas if you read this one day, you were very whiny in the mornings. Let's say that again because it feels so good. We slept in. Ahhh.

After sleeping in we headed to Schlitterbahn. It's a water park and it was Saturday. And it was a "promotional" Saturday. So there were only about 3.2 million people there. That equaled waiting in line for 2 hours to go down a slide. And even though we only went on a total of 3 slides and around a few rivers, the day wasn't lost. While we were in the first line I decided we should play 21 questions to pass the time. Of course we had to come up with a wager for whoever had the most wins at the end of the day. I wanted a world-famous Brian foot rub if I won. I rarely get them. And I wanted a really long one that would make him sweaty and his forearms sore the next day. Then Brian informed me he wanted a new chip for his truck that would make it get better gas mileage. It only costs $200. Oh that's all? Sure. I agreed because I knew I would win. I have ESP with Brian and I'm about 100x more competitive than him. So the game commenced.

The tournament was heated. Every time a round ended, the victor would scream and cheer and I would look up and see crowds of people smiling at us and realize that we were entertaining everyone in line. We should have charged Schlitterbahn for our services. And Brian was sweating bullets the whole day because of this game. Who knew he wanted that dang chip so bad? At one point he lovingly grabbed me by the neck when he knew he was about to lose yet another round and said, but I need that chip! I said well then you better start coming up with harder subjects and stop insulting my intelligence with things like a monkey! He eventually upped his game and made a comeback. Some of the more memorable games involved tree bark, the Liberty Bell memorial, Mary Poppins, creme brulee, Dwight Schrute, and nipple hair. Brian was fuming when I used my powers to guess his eel in a record 8 questions.

Throughout the day I would find myself thinking as we stood in eternal lines, Oh yeah, we're at Schlitterbahn! The game was only interrupted by the total of 45 seconds we spent going down slides.

That night the game was put on the back burner while we spent a wonderful dinner by the water on the Riverwalk. It was a really nice night. Followed by another morning of sleeeeeping innnnnn.

The game ended Sunday morning as we stood in line for world famous tacos at the Taco Taco Cafe. After a few rounds we were still tied. But then he guessed my place: Chipotle (It's easy I know. I had a moment of weakness because of intense hunger pains). If he could stump me he would win the whole tournament. I wasn't scared. I had him. I started guessing. Narrowed it down to a place in Las Vegas. Had 7 guesses left. Cake walk. I started guessing. Bellagio. MGM. New York, New York. Circus Circus. Mandalay Bay. Is it one of the big hotels? Yes, and you have one guess left. Oh dang. No problem, I will just use my powers. I closed my eyes and cleared my mind. The pyramid with the beam of light came into focus. That's it! The Mirage! I yelled it as everyone watched nervously. Nope! It's the Luxor! I win! I win! I get the chip!

It was a low blow to my gut when I realized I had the right hotel but said the wrong name. So disappointing. What a way to end the game. But it was fun to see Brian so happy to finally beat me at something. It's only taken him about 13 years but he finally did it.

All in all it was a great weekend. We had important deep discussions during the drive, spent quality time with God, and had alot of fun. We are refreshed.

But most importantly, Brian can now be united with his beloved chip.

Brian's First Act as a Father

2010-07-15T21:27:00.000-07:00

One time I was giving birth to a big baby. Doctors and nurses were going crazy "making incisions" (aka necessary mutilation) to allow for the girth of his head. Then a nurse remembered that I wanted to watch the birth in a mirror so she started wheeling it toward the bed. Then my quiet gentle husband who hadn't uttered a word all day stood up and said in a deep stern voice, She's not using the mirror. Oh, umm, Brian, yes I am. Remember, it's part of our birth plan? No, put the mirror back, she's not using it. And he pointed for the nurse to put it back where she got it from. Then he calmly walked back to his station beside me.

Knowing Brian like I do, it must have been a pretty bad scene.

But we all made it through. And thanks to Brian I have no scarring mental images in my head except being handed a cottage cheesy baby that I secretly didn't want to touch.

Let's talk about that before we go. On the video you can see me pretending to pat him without actually touching him. More like an air pat. I cried and was overwhelmed with love for him but really didn't want to touch him. Before Mash was born I did some self talk: Angie, she'll be gross just like Silas but you are prepared this time and you'll hold her with wild abandon. Nope. She got the air pat too. Something about hugging a ball of goo.

I'll pay for their therapy when they grow up.

Brian wants me to add:

The monetary promises made on this blog are not binding agreements
and are for entertainment purposes only.

Home Remedy: Kids Eating Vegetables

2010-07-13T21:24:00.000-07:00

A practical tip for getting veggies in your children (and yourself).

Step 1:
Buy a bag or box of baby spinach from the produce section.

Step 2:
Dump the contents into a food processor and pulse until chopped into little pieces. Store in an air-tight bowl in the fridge.

Step 3:
Spoon this tasteless but nutrient rich substance into almost any dinner.

I add it to mac & cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, spaghetti, casseroles, enchiladas, and anything else I can think of. The possibilities are endless because you can't taste the stuff. And if you do Step 2, your bowl of chopped spinach is ready whenever you need it. One bag lasts us about a week. I keep using it until it starts to have a smell. If it doesn't smell, it's still good. Enjoy!

Money Management

2010-07-07T20:50:00.000-07:00

Today was a Chuck E. Cheese day.

I used to have reservations about taking my children here for no good reason. This place is supposed to be a 5 times in your entire childhood type of event. Like it was for me. You are supposed to go to bed dreaming of the animatronics and then go win tickets like they're hundred dollar bills no matter who you leave dead and bloodied along the way. That's the Chuck E. Cheese experience.

Not some run of the mill weekday time-kill.

But we regularly come down with cabin fever. And it's h.o.t. outside. And I have a supply of unlimited free tokens thanks to a internet source that shall remain unnamed. Just kidding, it's http://printable-coupons.blogspot.com/

But now to the point of this story. Silas has a new obsession with carrying money in his pocket. Sometimes I give him a few pennies in the morning and he stays busy with them all day, taking them out, putting them back in, showing me his "moneys", reminding me he has "moneys," etc.

So I gave him 5 Chuck E. Cheese coins to put in his pocket before we left. And because of past experiences, I had a little talk with him about spending an absurd amount of coins on the same game, usually the first one he sees when he walks in. I encouraged him to take his time, remember he only had 5 coins in his pocket, think which game is his favorite, and choose wisely. He nodded and repeated the notion back to me in his words while he fingered the coins in his pocket. We also repeated this conversation in the car. I watched him nodding and smiling at me in the rear-view mirror. Dang Angie, you're good at this mom stuff.

When we arrived I was distracted by Mash saying Oooooohhhhh, danku! and clapping repeatedly from excitement, but I did notice Silas had found the duck game. The one where ducks slowly move on a conveyor belt and you try to punch them with a glove as they go by. But he wasn't actually playing the game. He was resting his chin in his hands watching the ducks go by. And from across the room I watched as he proceeded to put in all 5 coins without batting an eye. To watch the ducks go by.

Oh the world of a 3-year old. So interesting and strange. I love it.

Evening News

2010-06-30T19:01:00.000-07:00

Notice anything about this picture?

(besides the fact that he likes to drink like a hamster)

He's wearing underpants!

Really. He is. All the time now.

Part of me believed this day might never come.

I pictured him asking his middle school teachers
if he could go to the bathroom to change his diaper.

I'm a little surprised at how happy it makes me feel.
I never thought I would tear up with thanksgiving after peeling my bare feet from his bodily fluids dried on the floor by the toilet.
I never thought I would clap in the Wal-mart check-out line when he yelled Mommy, I need ta pee!

Silas is happy too.

He's filled with pride and encouragement.

He also regularly moons me and asks Mommy, see my shuga buns?

And let's not forget Mash.

This is what every picture of her looks nowadays.

Because she's walking!

Homegirl is on the move. She sure is a spunky little lady.

That's all for now. Thanks for watching and goodnight.

Conversations with a 3 Year Old

2010-06-21T20:28:00.000-07:00

Today I pulled into our driveway and Silas said Mommy whas a miwacle? I told a story about Jesus healing a sick person and tried my best to put it into his language. My excitement grew as I explained how awesome miracles are and he caught my enthusiasm and started clapping at the end of the story.

I asked What do you think about that Silas? He thought for a few seconds and said
Mommy I'm peein in my undapants.

Work Life

2010-06-14T20:26:00.000-07:00

Some people say liking who you work with can make all the difference.
I LOVE doing laundry with her.

She can come mess up my piles any day.

Father's Day Month

2010-06-07T13:40:00.000-07:00

I would like to share some Brian stories in the coming weeks. He's my babies' daddy. And he's a good one. He's patient and he's a giver. He gets up if they have a bad dream. He plays with them like nobody's business.

The other day we were at Wal-mart and the kids were hungry. He went and got them goldfish crackers and a bottle of water. He made sure Mash got some of the loot, holding the water bottle for her to get a drink. Then she unleashed one of her greatest talents, backwashing. Brian watched as a whole goldfish floated its way back into the water. Funny, but no big deal, he will just fish it out with his finger right? Well, he couldn't get it out and there was so much water still to be drank. (drunk?, drinked?)

So he closed his eyes and took a big swig. The slobbery soggy goldfish came out and instantly disintegrated in his mouth. As he stood there gagging I slapped him on the bum for taking one for the team.

But even if he would have just dumped the goldfish and a little water into a trash can like a normal person I would still think he's stinkin' awesome.

Occasional Reality

2010-06-03T12:14:00.000-07:00

One day I'll forget I had days like this. So I will write.

I took the kids to run errands.

First stop was Half-Price Books. Bear with me for a second because the following details are important. I got out the double stroller (no small feat - it weighs about 80 pounds), got Mash out, strapped her in. Unstrapped Silas as he pretended to be asleep and heaved his dead weight body out of the car. They waited and fussed in the hot sun while I took a small stack of books and movies to sell. I got the diaper bag and sippee cups locked and loaded. By the time I pushed the stroller across the parking lot while explaining to Silas how it would not be a good thing to get hit by a car, I was already out of breath and sweaty. I walked to the counter and set down my 5 items. I was excited to finally get them out of my car because they'd sat in the passenger seat for 2 weeks now. The employee walked over to me and sighed when I told him I wanted to sell these things. He said, it will take me about 30 minutes because I have to take care of all of these books first (pointing to the endless mountains of books behind him). I looked to my left and saw Silas checking out a rack of toys so I hastily said nevermind I will come back another time. What I should have said was the previous paragraph followed by WHY CAN'T YOU DO MY MEASLY 5 ITEMS FIRST? But I didn't think of it until I was standing in the hot sun loading all of the items back into the car.

Next stop was Kroger. Bear with me again. The original plan was to run into Kroger and grab some freshly made tortillas, organic fruit and yogurt. Then we were going to Wal-mart to get a big list of items that included vent filters and chlorine for the pool and groceries for the week. So I threw Mash into the front of the cart and told Silas he could walk if he obeyed. Then I made the fatal mistake of making a spontaneous decision. I saw vent filters out of the corner of my eye and thought I can just get everything I need here and skip the trip to Wal-mart! Awesome idea Angie. Except for the fact that you don't know where anything is in this store. And Madison isn't strapped in. And last but certainly not least, Silas is walking.

My stress level was at about a 7.5 as I walked down 10 aisles to find a can of chopped green chilies. Then 10 more aisles to find Natural Cheetos.

And now I will explain how a mother's stress level hits a 9. (I'm leaving 10 and 11 open because I'm confident my kids can top this). We finally get enough things on the list and I look at the mile long lines to check out. Then I see the self-checkout lines completely empty. I ignored the small voice telling me not to do it and listened to the one saying that Silas likes to help me check out and it will keep him occupied. So we began.

Silas took a can of beans and stared blankly at the screen when it didn't beep. It was nap time. I told him to move it around until it beeped. More blank stares. I helped him move it around. He screams, "I WANT TO DO IT!" Repeat this scenario for every single item.

At the same time, Madison chews on my phone and throws it 15 feet away (she's got a good arm) while lovely patrons watch and bring it back to me. Then she chews on the contents of my wallet (carbon copies of checks, etc.) and throws them. Then she finds Silas' half full juice box and lets the sugary goodness run down her face and neck, soaking her shirt and pants. She chews on the straw, throws it. She gets the juice to squirt through the top like a whale clearing his blow hole.

I turn in circles dividing my attention between trying to hand Mash something to eat and keeping Silas from skipping the scanning part of the process and just throwing groceries into sacks.

The machine is screaming at me, "Please remove the unscanned items from the bagging area." Madison is letting out a warrior cry as she stands up and tries to leap from the basket. I catch her as she leans over. Repeat this scenario at least 5 times.

Silas walks away from the bagging area and I start scanning like a mad woman trying to get it done before something else falls apart. There is a 5 second window of quiet. Then I look behind me. Silas has pushed the basket as hard as he can and Madison is standing up, surfing the rolling basket toward the customer service counter 20 feet away.

Fire is shooting out of my ears as I yell at Silas and put him in the basket.

I have so many groceries that they are starting to stack up on every square inch of the scanner station because it won't let you take off a sack until you are completely through. I can hear everyone's thoughts "why on earth would you use the self-checkout for THAT many groceries?" It's starting to look like a mountain range. Every time I try to sneak a bag off into the basket the computer lady yells, "Please return items to the bagging area." Sweat is squirting out of my face as I call it's bluff and it tells on me. "An attendant has been notified and will be with you shortly." The teenage boy looks annoyed as he helps the machine calm down. I choose the skip bagging button after that and start throwing things in the basket.

Silas is repeatedly screaming, and that is an understatement, "MOMMY TALK TO MEEEEEEEEE!!" with crocodile tears coming down his face. I try to ignore everything and just finish. His pleas pull on the heartstrings of everyone around and people are staring.

Then I put the bags in the basket with Silas underneath and him screaming about how the pineapple is hurting him! I rolled away telling Silas in a deep hushed tone that he is getting a huge spanking when we got to the car for pushing the cart and screaming the whole time. He says loudly for all of the gawkers to hear, Mommy what's a huge spankin?

Oh, you're about to find out.

Thankfully, we had a long walk to the car and during that time me and Jesus convinced myself not to beat him senseless. He ended up getting a normal spanking. The trip ended with a victory.

We sang Prince on the way home and I laughed and tried to take in some deep breaths before it was time to unload groceries, nurse, change poopie diapers, break up fights over toys, feed the hog, pay the bills, etc.

Kroger caught a picture of me on their security camera.

The Cure

2010-05-23T20:22:00.000-07:00

For anyone with the Monday blues.

I heard a silly rumor that she's about to turn 1.

I assured the crazy person that she's only 4 months old and I'll slap anyone I hear talking like that again.

She can't possibly be growing this fast.

Home Depot Moment

2010-05-19T12:52:00.000-07:00

Last night we had a family outing to Home Depot. When we go to home improvement stores my job is to entertain the monkeys while big daddy gets the stuff he needs.

So I would get the basket going real fast then jump up and ride it - big hit. And then we ate some snacks. As a last resort I told Silas he could get down and explore as long as he stayed close and obeyed.

He found some "employee only" ladders and climbed up to drive his cars across the bumpy surfaces. When he stood up I said Look Silas, you're taller than me! As I stood close to his face to show him, he leaned over the rail and gave me a big kiss. I laughed, which for Silas ensures a behavior will be repeated for 2 hours. He would give me small kisses and big kisses and we would both throw our heads back with laughter.

Then things went in slow motion as I looked at his smiling face. I was struck by how fleeting this moment was. It's hard to believe but I know there will come a day when he won't want to kiss me in public with wild abandon.

So here is where I write a note to myself. Angie, 15 years from now
know that you treasured it.

Potty Time

2010-05-16T22:22:00.000-07:00

In 7 days we will begin potty training. I became aware of how much this is overdue the other day when I explained to Silas why it's good to change a poopie diaper quickly because of the effect feces has on skin and we carried on a conversation where he demonstrated full comprehension. Yes, he's old enough Mommy.

Truth be told, I'm intimidated. Unsure. Lacking in experience, knowledge.

I'll be doing a little reading and playing a lot of Elmo Potty Time in preparation but if you have any experience or knowledge to share regarding the challenge of potty training a very intelligent 3 year old boy who is in de pen dent, please do.

Naked Bandit

2010-05-12T19:46:00.000-07:00

The other day I took a 2 minute break to write my mom an email. I left the children in the living room. Alone. Risky move, but they were in good spirits so I decided to take my chances.

I've learned that the thing to listen for in this situation is hysterical laughter from Silas and silence from the baby. Never a good combination.

But I could hear peaceful giggling from both kids so I didn't worry.

Then the giggles got closer.

And closer.

Full of laughter, they rounded the corner of the hallway to my doorway.

And to my shock this is what I saw.

Oh how their laughter swelled when they saw my reaction.

To put this into context, she wasn't naked when I left. And Silas still has trouble taking his own clothes off.

Nevertheless, they somehow managed getting her in her birthday suit, diaper and all, in two minutes.

She was so excited to get such a laugh from Mommy that I could hardly catch the little streaker.

And when I went to find the clean diaper I had put on her before the incident, Silas informed me, "Mommy, I put it in da trash."
Isn't he thoughtful?

For All the Moms

2010-05-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

In honor of Mother's Day (better late than never) I would like to share a recent discovery that has dramatically improved my abilities as a mom running a household.

This amazing breakthrough gives me more energy. Puts a spring in my step. I keep the house cleaner. I do more with the kids. It's my super power.

And I don't want you to worry. It's not Meth or a child's Ritalin prescription. It's not even coffee or energy drinks. It's so simple.

I put on my tennis shoes.

I'm usually a flip-flop or house-shoe kinda girl. But after I noticed the dramatic difference my shoes make, I put them on like Superman puts on his cape. And I feel like I'm in the montage of the movie where the house gets cleaned in fast motion.

Try it my friends and may the force be with you.

On the Nightshift

2010-05-02T20:00:00.000-07:00

It's 3:00 a.m.

Dark, quiet, everyone is sleeping.

All of a sudden we're jolted awake by intense screaming.

Silas is hysterical.

Begging for Dada to come help him.

Night terrors.

This scene happens a few times a week.

He describes the horrible content of his dreams, we try to comfort him.

They all center around the same theme. The same perpetrator.

Through sobs and heaving shoulders he tells us what she does to him.
Baby Mashon (sob sob) knocked over my (sob sob) ice cream!
Why's (sobs) Baby Mashon (sobs) messing with my nat map (aka nap mat)?
Dada, she took my cars (hysterics)!
Tell Baby Mashon (sob sob) give me my blankie pweeeeze!

It's really not funny at the moment. I get all pumped full of adrenaline and then I look at the clock and realize I only have 47 minutes before the sweet little bird outside our window will wake up and I will be forced to spend the remaining early morning hours fantasizing about the different ways I could end its life. (Some mornings I'm so desperate for sleep and filled with hatred for the bird that I convince Brian to run out in his underwear to try and shoot it with the bb gun. So far the score is Tweetie 8, Brian 0.)

Despite the bad dreams and evil bird our bodies somehow always make it on a few hours of sleep. And as I listen to Silas give more details about the dreams the next day I wonder if he might be having a rough time with this baby that's barging into his world.

But I can't help having a good laugh while he's not looking.

Western Day

2010-04-29T14:32:00.000-07:00

Little whippersnapper was a cowboy today at school for Western Day.

I had to use my best Jedi mind tricks to get him to agree to the handkerchief.

My skills aren't advanced enough to get him to wear the hat.

It's safe to say he's not a fan of hats.

They can't be trusted.

First Race

2010-04-25T19:54:00.000-07:00

Silas competed in his first race on Saturday. We were at a little local festival and Silas was jumping in a bounce house when someone announced it was time for the toddler foot race. I stuck my head in and asked if he wanted to be in a race. He said umm yeam. So I put his shoes on and lined him up. Told him when the man said ready set go to run to Dada real fast. He had it in the bag.

Here's how the starting line looked. He had at least a year on the twin siblings and they weren't wearing shoes.

I stood next to Silas thinking about what prize he was going to get when he won. Then the man told me I needed to go to the finish line with the other parents so he could start the race.

I took my place by Brian and the man said go. I heard the Chariots of Fire song playing as Silas took his first steps. Then the music stopped. Confusion and fear took over the little man. His steps never broke into more than a slow waddle and his bottom lip quivered. He didn't know why everyone was yelling at him and he didn't appreciate it. The barefoot twins ran by the tall strapping boy in tennis shoes with ease. They were already wearing their medals when Silas crossed the finish line exclaiming I don't like to race!

I scooped him up and chuckled relishing in the proud moment, my child having a meltdown, telling the man NO! when he said good job and asked for a high five, and cowering away from the medal like he was being handed a snake.

As we rode home, children asleep in the back seat, we laughed pretty hard when we looked at his medal.

I've since taught him proper race finishing etiquette. Kiss the medal, jump up and down with your arms in the air. He'll do fine next time.

Home Remedy: Swiffer Mop

2010-04-22T14:22:00.000-07:00

We recently bought a Swiffer WetJet Mop. After I used it for the first time I gave it to Silas, my helper, and he continued to mop for 1.8 hours.

The next time I went to mop I discovered that Silas had cleaned so thoroughly he used the whole bottle of cleaning solution. No problem I thought. I'll just refill the bottle with good old fashioned water and soap.

Wrong!

The Swiffer people thought they would be real smart and make the bottle to where you can't unscrew the lid. Therefore you will be forced to buy another $5 bottle of their cleaning solution. Capitalists.

Well those Swiffer people underestimated the cheapness and mad skills of yours truly. After a quick Google search I found the solution which I will now share with you.

All you need is a pot of water and fingernail clippers.

1. Bring water to boil in a small pan. (enough to cover the bottle lid)

2. Boil the lid for 2 minutes. (I had to hold mine to get it to stay upright)

3. Unscrew the lid. (I had to use a hand towel and some elbow grease)

4. Clip those pesky teeth from the inside of the lid so you can unscrew it
easily next time.

Stickin it to the Man one Swiffer bottle at a time.

Family Toes

2010-04-19T09:19:00.000-07:00

In Silas' world there are four important people you should know.

Their names are Frank, Tommy, Frieda, and Willamina.

And let's be clear. These are not just toes. They're his friends.

When he stubs his toe he doesn't cry in pain, he yells Oh Fwank!! You OK!?!? When he sees my feet he lights up and starts starts chatting with Frieda (she's his favorite). When my feet are under the covers Silas asks Freida and Willamina if they are ok, and whatcha doin' unda dere? When my toenails are painted he says Frieda why you purple?

You better believe I've used this to my advantage. When Willamina asks real nice if he'll eat that spinach, he can't resist. If he doesn't want to wear socks all Tommy has to do is say he's cold.

I love my weird little guy. No clue where he gets it.

Pudding

2010-04-13T19:45:00.000-07:00

We had chocolate pudding for dessert tonight. That is, after two thirds of the bowl was knocked onto the microwave, down into the pots and pans drawer, and finally onto the kitchen floor and the baby crawling on it.

It's our new diet plan.

Tales of Easter

2010-04-08T10:52:00.000-07:00

Easter Sunday was lovely.

It began with a powerful message at church.

It ended with good quality family time.

The littlest ones get ready for their hunt. Look at the intensity.

They were actually quite docile. They walked around in no hurry and were content after they had found about 3 eggs each.

The grown-ups were a different story.

Prizes and money were on the line people!

We all had fun. Especially the kids:
water gun fights, rides on the golf cart, and sugar comas.

And oh, how fast they're growing!

This was the same group just two years ago.

It was such a happy day.
I have so much to be thankful for.
Most of all, that Jesus rose from the grave and saved my life.

Pictures

2010-04-02T14:11:00.000-07:00

We had family pictures made.

They turned out great.

Especially the ones of this little debbie snack.

And this ham.

But those whippersnappers can't compete with my breathtaking
40 year old virgin pose.

See the similarities?

If you want to see more (and there are many more) from the photo shoot
or order prints, email me and I'll send you the link.

Employee of the Month

2010-03-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago Brian came home and happily shared how is boss gave him an achievement award. This meant he got to pick out a gift card to the place of his choice for all the hard work and overtime he's been doing.

I was happy for him. Glad to know he was getting good feedback at work, knowing it meant alot to him.

Then Thursday night rolled around. He came home late from lifegroup and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hands.

He handed me a big box.
It was a leaf blower!

To put my excitement into context, I've been wanting and talking about a leaf blower for about two years. Fantasizing about effortlessly cleaning out all of the 5 years worth of leaves from our yard, flower beds, and driveway. Don't get me wrong, I've done my time using brooms and rakes. But I've never been able to stay on top of the massive job since we have so many trees and babies.

Me, lookin like a natural.

But what meant more to me than finally having the power of wind in my hands was when Brian told me, "I used my gift card to get you this. I'm giving you the achievement award because you've been working alot harder than I have taking care of the kids. You deserve it."

Let me just tell you. As a mother who was tapped out all of her reserves of effort, patience, physical energy, and everything else in my being, this was monumental. It meant someone had seen the struggle. It meant encouragement. It meant my husband giving significance to my daily purpose that, although given alot of lip service, oftentimes feels second-rate.

But let's not forget it also meant I GOT A LEAF BLOWER!

I tried it out between bouts of stomach flu this weekend. Me and LB are gonna be good friends.

Hair Cycle

2010-03-24T20:15:00.000-07:00

I used to have really long hair. It was curly and flowing and Brian loved it. The few attempts I've made to grow it back out have met with a scrunched nose and a tilt of the head, followed by "It's just not the same." So I've said goodbye to that pipe dream and now I vacillate between a little past the shoulder and just under the chin.

Now to the interesting part.

Yesterday I was looking in the bathroom mirror at my hair while Brian was shaving. I started up the semi-annual discussion: Do you like my hair better long or short? The reigning world champion at not rocking the boat gave me his standard answer, I like both. So I used the ole tried and true, if a gun was put to your head and you had to pick, which would you like?

I watched as he looked up and to the right, deep in thought.

Then he started shaving again and said, I think I just like it fixed.

Message received loud and clear.

I'll try to resist the ponytail more often. Maybe.

The glory days.

I tried to find a current picture but since I haven't been photographed since 1998

this is the closest representation I could find of my present state.

(compliments of Google image search)

Tiene Tres Años

2010-03-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

My son turns 3 today (or "free" if you ask him).

And I want to celebrate.

Oh there are the more obvious reasons to celebrate.

He poses like this when I ask him to.

He says, "Mommy, dance wiff me."

He loves to see the humor in life.

He is intelligent, musical, polite (mostly).

But then there are the harder to recognize reasons.

He has been the pioneer to find the heart of a mother in me. I had severe postpartum depression after he was born and he stuck with me.

We are kindred spirits. Stubborn, strong willed, determined, emotional, deeply affected by the world around us. I understand his need for independence. I feel it too. This empathy has carried me through many a difficult day.

God has used my mysterious and challenging son to pry my death grip off the illusion that I'm in control of everything. That I can figure everything out. That I never need help.

To say he has changed my life in his 3 years is an understatement.

I think he's changed my DNA.

I am thankful I get to be his mother. I'm excited to see him grow in the years to come.

I celebrate the richness this little boy brings to our lives.

Cheese!

2010-03-17T17:19:00.000-07:00

She's been practicing in the mirror. Perfecting it. Getting the mouth just right. The eyebrows just the right angle. She thinks she's nailed it. And she's ready for me to reveal it to the world.

So without further ado, I present to you:

HER

NEW

SMILE!

Seriously.

She's not angry.

She's not tired or hungry.

You're looking at one happy baby.

I think she was inspired by him.

Or maybe him.

A Bite and a Splash

2010-03-10T08:24:00.000-08:00

On the (sometimes rare) occasion that we bathe our children these days, it's been quite entertaining.
One reason is that Mash loves to splash. And I mean LOVES to splash. She doesn't care if she has to hold her breath and get a gallon of water in her eyes and ears, she splashes her heart out.

It generally goes like this:
Bite a toy, splash like crazy.
Bite a toy, splash like crazy.
Continue until removed from the water.

On a side note, I highly recommend the Munchkin Inflatable Duck Tub. For this age where she can sit up but not be trusted with the whole tub it makes bath time alot of fun. Not to mention it protects her from the older sibling so they can bathe together. I think you can get it at Wal-Mart or Target for around $15. We keep ours inflated and hang it on the hook on our shower caddy that hangs on the shower head.

Sunny Days

2010-03-05T12:48:00.000-08:00

The sunshine has lifted our spirits.

Yesterday we made a spontaneous trip to the park

after picking Silas up from school.

Madison didn't mind missing her nap at all.
She did mind how badly the wind messed up her hair.

I basked in the sun filled with peace and contentment
watching my children enjoy themselves.
Then Silas brought me back to reality.
He ran by me and stopped abruptly to tell me Mommy I gonna make a doo doo. Music to every mother's ears. Especially when there are no public restrooms. And you drive a small car. So Silas got his diaper changed on the sidewalk with everyone witnessing him in all his glory. I'm never quite sure about proper diaper etiquette in these situations.

But hey I'll take the sunshine, public pooping and all.
I've never been so thankful for spring to get here.

My Helper

2010-03-02T20:32:00.000-08:00

The past few days have been challenging for my son and me. He's been sensitive and stubborn. I've been testy and impatient. We're in one of those phases where things feel difficult and tiring.

Hold on a second. I need to get something off my chest. Soapbox please. Sometimes it seems like there's not much tolerance for mom's to feel anything but blissful fondness towards their children. Come on moms, be happy and enjoy it all the time!

The reality is that a mother's emotions towards her children wax and wane. I'm no exception. Sometimes we have a blast. Sometimes we're creative together. Sometimes we cuddle and the contentment in those moments is almost tangible. And then there are times when we get on each others nerves. There are moments when you've given a whole lot of yourself and get nothing but anger or ungratefulness in return. Those times don't feel good at all. And although I try pretty darn hard to not let how I'm feeling control how I act, I've certainly failed at this. I'm trying to teach Silas along the way that we're all imperfect and it's ok to ask for forgiveness, even if it's from your child.

But the point of this post was to take a moment during this difficult time to be thankful for one of the many good qualities God has put in this little boy. Here's one.

Silas loves to be useful. He's stinkin good at helping. If I sweep he loves to follow behind with his little broom. If I do the dishes he climbs up on his stool next to me and uses his scrub brush. And lately he's been helping with the laundry. And not just "helping" me. He actually loads and unloads the washer and dryer. What a blessing it is to watch him light up at the chance to help others.

In easy and hard times, I am ever thankful to be his mother.

I'm going to remind myself of all this when he wakes me up at 5:36a.m. to inform me "Isss mawneen time Mommy!"

It's ok Angie. He'll do the laundry later.

New Developments

2010-02-26T15:53:00.000-08:00

He sings 80's hits.

She claps.
(warning: watching her might be a form of anti-birth control)

My Favorite Olympic Moment

2010-02-21T15:22:00.000-08:00

No, not when the bedazzled and feathered Lysacek won gold in ice skating.
(Although I was thoroughly entertained by the costumes of the ice skating men)
It wasn't when Apolo Ohno won silver because the two Koreans knocked each other over.
And it wasn't when Lindsay Vaughn won gold skiing with a hurt leg.

It was when Brian and I were snuggled under blankets with the kids asleep watching Shaun White win the snowboarding gold.
Brian suddenly said with much conviction:
Man, if I was there I would definitely start the U. S. A. chant!

I found this to be a strange comment coming from my very reserved husband so I turned to look at him and asked, Why, because you would be so excited that Shaun White won?

He said no, followed by silence.

A man of mystery.

So I took another guess.
Is it because you would be so proud of your country?

He said No, I just really like it when people do that chant and yell
U.S.A! U.S.A!
If I was there, I would start it. I really like to hear it.

And that was all the explanation I was able to get.

I found Brian's random love for the U.S.A chant to be pretty amusing.

Keeping It Fresh

2010-02-19T14:36:00.000-08:00

Part of my job description is to think of new activities for my children to enjoy in their daily lives. Play is a serious thing for kids. They need it. It's important to their little worlds. And I try to keep play as fresh as possible, especially when we're at home aaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllll day.

The only problem is that my brain is barely functioning at the moment. We don't get alot of sleep. And let's not forget the countless brain cells I am convinced come out in my breast milk.

Just last night I called Brian to ask him what I wrote my thesis over in grad school. It was only 3 years ago. IT WAS MY THESIS PEOPLE. I spent countless hours researching and writing it. I spent a few hours having diarrhea over defending it in front of professors I feared and respected. And for the life of me I couldn't remember what it was about. My retrieval tool in my brain sat there with his arms crossed and ignored my pleas. And Brian was no help despite the hours he spent helping me with revisions and listening to practice runs on my presentations. Man alive. It's kinda scary when something important just isn't there. Did I mention we don't get much sleep?

Luckily we own a computer and I was able to open up the ole grad school folder and say, "Oh yeah, duh!"

That little tangent was a disclaimer to my next point:
I rarely (or maybe never) come up with novel games or innovative activities.
My goal is to simply keep it fresh. To give the little monkeys a different way to play. Most of the time it involves moving to a different area and seeing what we can come up with. For example, today's morning activity was (hold on to your seats) "Play Time in Mash's Crib."

If you have a crib in the house, you should try it. They played for 45 minutes which I think translates to about 3 hours adult time.

I'll try to keep these brilliant inspirations coming.

Snow

2010-02-14T16:20:00.000-08:00

Drumroll please.

We got 12 inches of snow!

Some would call that a whole foot! This is the most snow Dallas has ever gotten in a day. The previous record was 8 inches.

I can't put into words how much happiness the snow brought with it.

There was a family sledding adventure behind Wal-mart. Until the manager called the police and we were removed from the premises. Silas sported girl gloves (the whole city was sold out except that pair) and the twins sported impressive ghetto snow boots.

Here's a small glimpse of the fun we had.

Things to watch for: Brian breaking the sound barrier at the end
and the song - it captures how my heart felt all night.

After we relocated a snowball fight broke out that turned slightly violent when someone crossed the line and started throwing like Harry from Dumb and Dumber.

Later we ate some Joe Willy's burgers in our ski clothes.
Felt like we were fresh off the slopes.

The next day we stayed home and made a snowman and a snow fort-slide.

Even though the snowman's head fell off while we were jumping on the trampoline it didn't dampen our spirits.

These past few days have been a blast.

Game Time Answer

2010-02-05T20:23:00.000-08:00

Hmm. No one really came close. And by the way I'm offended that so many of you think I would write about such disgusting bodily functions.

So. What's about to happen in this picture? Here's a hint:

Figure it out? Yeah. A big couch pillow is about to make contact - SMACK! - with her face. Compliments of her genteel older brother. We were all playing on the floor when I got lost in the moment and started taking pictures of her. And, you see, whenever I pay attention to her for more than 5.5 seconds, a voice in Silas' head (the one from Mortal Combat) says "FINISH HER!" He came up from behind me and got her with a sneak attack. I think she was crying out for help with her eyes but I didn't see it.

More evidence that Silas isn't completely on board with this polygamous mother-child arrangement.

Thanks for participating in the game. I guess I'll save the awesome prize for next time.

Game Time!

2010-02-04T14:21:00.000-08:00

Let's play a game I like to call

"What's About to Happen in this Picture?"

Take a good look and make a guess.

(And to make it interesting, there's a small prize for whoever gets the closest!)

Home Remedy: Chapped Lip

2010-02-01T09:17:00.000-08:00

Have a child with a persistent chapped lip? Delved into savings trying every brand of chapstick and lip moisturizer? We found a solution that finally worked with Silas, our champion top lip sucker.

Follow these simple steps:

1. Wet the chapped lip with water. (We held a wet washcloth on his lip for a few secs).
2. Slather on petroleum jelly.
3. Repeat these steps throughout the day like they're going out of style.
4. Once the redness starts to subside you can skip step one
     and continue with step two.
5. Once the redness is completely gone don't put on yer party hats yet.
      Learn from my mistake. Keep using the Vaseline for a few days.
6. Sleep with one eye open and if you see a hint of redness coming back,
     you better get on it and start with step two pronto.
     (Step one is only necessary when severe chappage is happening).

His chapped lip improved in a day, completely gone within 2 weeks.

Here are some before and after pics:

Before

After

Name Change

2010-01-28T14:10:00.000-08:00

Inspired by Silas' favorite phrase these days,
the name of the blog has changed.

It just fits.

And I ain't ashamed to admit it.
Plus I never really liked the old title.

The old site now re-directs to this one.
Please copy & paste and make this new site your new link!

Little Launch

2010-01-28T08:26:00.001-08:00

Silas went to mother's day out today for the first time.

The boy has rarely left my side since I birthed him almost 3 years ago.

That's what brought us to this point and also what makes it difficult.

He will be gone for 5 whole hours!

Makes me a tad uneasy.

But this morning as I heard the teachers praying for the kids before they came out to greet them it gave me peace.

And he did great.

At first he repeatedly said my name and that he wanted to go home.

But when I asked for a hug goodbye he quietly said, "Ok Mommy."

He hugged me and I didn't hear any crying as I walked out.

I kicked myself later for forgetting to plant that hidden camera in the classroom so I could sit at home and watch him all day.

Hi, my name is Angie and I'm enmeshed with my child.

Here he is in his rocket ship shirt he requested to wear to school.

(He's pretty excited about rocket ships these days.)

This weekend I'll be making him a stinkin awesome nap mat and hopefully our rocket ship lunchbox we ordered on eBay will get here.

I can't wait to pick him up and see how the day went.
Did I mention I love this kid?

UPDATE:
"School" was a big hit! His teacher said he did great and only told her a few times he was ready to go home. On the way home he told me all about his fun day and got upset when I told him there wasn't school tomorrow.

And for those of you wondering, I was able to do laundry, file our paperwork that had piled up over the past year, feed and play with Mash, eat lunch, and last but certainly not least go to the bathroom in blissful solitude. I think this is gonna be a good thing for both of us!

Crawlage

2010-01-25T09:29:00.001-08:00

Madison progresses.

Silas regresses.

Please overlook the stained carpet.
It was freshly vacuumed if that eases the pain.

Venting

2010-01-21T22:11:00.001-08:00

I need to get something off my chest.

Brian is gassy.

I mean the kind of gas that once it hits my nostrils it immediately flips on my anger switch.

Of course once he sees my disgust he immediately apologizes.

But the hint of a smile on his face tells me what he's really saying.

"I'm kinda glad you got to smell my butt air."

And then, as if that little smirk wasn't enough, he sings quietly over my proclamations of disgust:

I really don't like that song.